...The Voice Within...

Thank You

2008-06-29T01:08:00.006+08:00

Hey guys, I will be putting a stop to my 4 yrs of blogging journey. All good things have to come to an end. I can't be blogging forever.

Thanks for being with me all along, sharing my thoughts and all. It has been an enriching experience for myself, in my own personal way. But I am tired le. Kinda growing out of it. So this shall be the end.

For those of you who are still blogging or have just started blogging, do continue to do so! I am sure you are enjoying it like what I have been. I will be reading for sure.

Thank you to all once again!! Really appreciated your readership all these years. heheee.

Cya guys around! Ciaoz!!

========NO MORE NEW POSTS===========

Out of the blue

2008-06-19T22:41:00.007+08:00

Actuali I feel like shutting down my blog . Hope u guys dont mind when I finally bring myself to do it one day.

Well I am just wondering why am I blogging. I know some of you read it religiously (;p) , I appreciate it. Tks. But its not really the issue of whether ppl care to read or not. I just suddenly find it very weird for me to have to update and announce things to some of you through this mode of contact. Its weird. Its good and bad in a way. I dunno y am I feeling this way out of a sudden too.

Despite having felt this way from time to time, I have been blogging for 4 freaking yrs! OMG, Thats pretty long! Maybe its time to put a beautiful full stop to this blogging journey.

Anyway I feel like signing up for singing class to learn how to sing, seriously. Anyone has any good and cheap singing schools to recommend and wanna join together with me? Hahe.. Well not that I aspire to become a singer la. I just want to learn the techniques of singing so that I can enjoy singing better. I used to like to sing but not able to sing well gradually made me lose the interest in singing as time goes. HA. You know. I used to record my own singing for fun and leisure when I am bored at home. Den when I listen to it, I will be like thinking: " Oh man...why like that one? so boring. no gao cao one." Sucks la. haha. Yalor so I am feeling the impulse to want to learn how to sing better with my diaphragm and all. Its good for voice production.

Anyway I like a song quite much. haha. it may be an old song alr by now or wat la i dunno but hu cares. I like it loh! Go and listen ! Apologize by Timberland. Has also been playing on radio stations.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ePyRrb2-fzs
Nice?

Another link. I think my this ex pri sch fren sing very well! I like his voice. hai...I want to sing like him! haha.. i mean as good as him lor...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeJ6Sk1fOXs
Ha.. I like help him advertise.

So happy that Karina, YJ and Iris will be coming back to Sg within the next few months!! Yea!!

Tmr is my last observation session at SGH. Hope to get a temp job soon to earn some income man! Very scared to see only withdrawal and no deposits in my bank account. haha.

Hi. I am an unemployed.

2008-06-04T23:07:00.015+08:00

Tag reply to pei and others who might be in similar state of mind, just to share:

Yah I quitted without a job (but with a plan in mind in the end). I did try to look for a replacement job frantically at the earlier stage of contemplation. I send resumes to various places, hoping to get contacted just so that I can quit my job eventually. Lucky I was silly enough to state in my resume that I can only start work in a few months time so I never got contacted in the end. HA. I later rationalize that it would be a hasty rush if I were to find and end up in another job just so to be able to quit my job with a proper reason.

I was contemplating for around 2 to 3 mths then. I spoke to a number of people including some of you thru email and in person, and also some of my closer colleagues. Their responses are positive and encouraging. Well, in a way, I choose the right ppl to talk to. I alr know the answer inside me. I just want reaffirmation and encouragement to do what I want. I keep hinting to my parents to test their reactions too. Well my parents are the best parents on earth so of cos I am least worried abt what they think cos I noe they care abt me.

In addition, I was also exploring the option of furthering my studies too, weighing the pros and cons, looking ard here and there. I searched and found something.

Thus it was a pretty long contemplation and struggle before I finally DO it with reason to my boss that I want to plan for furthering my studies.

Of cos I felt bad to leave my colleagues at such critical time when staff strength is low and caseload is high. I really wanted to stay for a few more mths initially just so to wait for more new staff to join (which is the reason why I state in my resume in Mar that I can preferably start work from July onwards. HA. So funny now that I come to think of it). Some ppl told me that I am silly. They said: The organization won't die becos of you. There will always be insufficient staff. You are still young. You have your life to run. Go ahead to do wat you want.

I like my colleagues generally. They probably will be the only reason that is worth for me to stay in the job. But my priority in a job is very simple. There must be job satisfaction and enough motivation for me to find meaning in continue doing it. Others are secondary.

Just my penny worth of advice- listen and follow your heart. I really did what my heart tells me. It has been cringing for quite some time and I was desperate enough to ease the discomfort. And I made the choice. I was very happy that I did it. I am also prepared to live with the consequences of it, considering that my circumstances allow me to.

Anyway just to share, I am currently doing an attachment stint at NUH & SGH for observation sessions. (Anyway Yiling, thanks for helping me to ask abt KKH too though too bad it is fully booked)

The application for the masters course that I am interested to take in nus is open now which I most probably would try to apply for it after finishing my attachment prgms. Its very competitive to get in and I am crossing my fingers. Anyway, even if I fail to get in, it is probably a blessing in disguise for me. Other options shall have to set in, for better or worse. Things happen for a reason. I can always make up for it.

Anyway my sis' show is up at 9pm. Do catch it and support her if you can. Tks. She has a hard time acting a role that is so not her. Ha. Who ask her to be an actor rite? Actor is like that one mah. You dont act urself leh. Hee. Anyway, its no easy job lar. No job is easy. No money is easy to earn. There are sacrifices to be made. Again, you weight ur pros and cons and you decide for urself.

Wah I write so long ah.....cos I am unemployed mah. Got time but no money.....haha.

Day of Relief- 30 May 2008

2008-05-30T12:08:00.007+08:00

As some of you might know, I have decided to leave my job after in it for abt 1 yr & 8 mths.
YYEEAA!!!! Today marks the last official day! I am jubilant!

To explain why I quiited my job, I can write a 1000 words essay.......
[Parts deleted to secure confidentiality]

Surprisingly, my boss and colleagues think of me as very different from what I think of myself.

Some of think think that I am a very patient person which is to my advantage as they assume that clients will not bear to scold or shout at me and will instead listen and comply with me.

WRONG: I am actually quite an impatient and bad tempered person. I think my mother and one of you will totally agree with me. I have little patience with difficult clients who are rude, demanding and unreasonable. Ok. I agree that I probably don't show it very much on my face cos I avoid conflicts as best as I could but I am really fuming inside me. Thats why i say i am not patient or good tempered. A genuinely good tempered and patient person wont feel angry at all. But I do. And I get really sulky and grumpy after that.

Because I am impatient, I am also someone with a high sense of urgency and high level of neuroticism. I admit that alot of times I give myself unnecessary stress to want to meet certain deadlines to finish the cases so that my clients can get the money on time and not come and scold or harass me. I stay back almost every night to do my cases. Ppl think that I stay back bcos I am stressed. WRONG. The fact that I can stay back make me less stress and it reduces my stress so that I have extra time to do my work and I wont be so stress on the next working day. Some colleagues with the same working style as me will know what I mean by this logic. I even bring cases home to do. I am paranoid to a certain extent. If uncontrolled, I can be someone with no work-life balance as I am very task-oriented.

Am I suitable for this job? I really dunno. It works for and against me I feel.

Nonetheless, there are also reasons which I feel that I am suited for this job which I shant elaborate here orelse it will get lengthy.

I do have an exit plan after my resignation which is just one of my alternatives. Shall take things one at a time.

To date, the pillar of support during my course of work is truly my mother. She shared alot of my burdens from work just by giving me a listening ear and offering me a different perspective. If not for her, I think I can go insane. My mum totally understands the frustration that I am going tru whenever I tell her certain things. Sometimes she will even tell me that, "I really dun want to be in ur job." But of cos I think I have told her too many sad and poor stories that she is growing to get tired of hearing them. HA. She must be happy that I quitted lar. oh well.

My mother once told me that my stories at work are very sad and poor to the extent that its boring and uninteresting to hear, unlike criminal stories which are more unusual and juicy. She cautioned that if I have a husband, I shld refrain from pouring out to him as he probably wouldnt like to listen to them every single day. But isnt it true that husband and wife should share their woes?

I once read a meaningful article that reads:

"In life, there are more sorrows than happiness. There are too many people whom you can share your happiness with, not necessary your lover. If you live your life happily, you can also enjoy it alone. Sadness, however not many people is willing to share burden with you. If you are willing to tell him/her your unhappiness, she/he got to be someone who is closest and most understanding to you.

How to decide if you love 2 persons at the same time? When you are sad, which gal/guy you want to share your burden with? Whoever that comes to mind first is the one you love more. If you think of the same guy/gal when you are happy and sad, thats the most perfect. If not, choose the one you are willing to share your sadness with."

If you are sad, who comes to your mind first? Answer yourself honestly....

.......................................................

Our heartfelt condolences to survivors and victims of Sze Chuan Earthquake disaster

2008-05-25T22:37:00.020+08:00

Our hearts bleed each time those tragic moments are flashed on screen
The immense amt of pain and misery
It's probably hard for us to imagine
Yet we feel it together with you
We really do.

Apart from admiring the efforts of the rescue workers
Giving a little from what we have in our pockets
Expressing deep felt sympathy and grief
There is just so much we can do
So little we can help.

Those dreams and desires that you once speak so loud
Those familiar things that that you used to see and felt
What's left seem so empty and broken now.

Bear in mind that each member of the human race are all standing up
To give you our every bit of help
To walk you through and towards
A future that still holds for you.

You are not helpless
You will not be alone

Cos our hopes and aspirations for you are ALIVE.

* Also hope to extend my condolences to Myanmar Cyclone victims who unfortunately are not well receiving the aid that they should get due to the nature of its political climate which is depriving human rights which to me is totally inexplicable...

Once in awhile....

2008-05-24T05:07:00.007+08:00

I like Double O on friday nite. Let's go Double O the next time, girls (jenny and gang). The music rocks. Pop and R&B. My favourite music to be able to dance like nobody's business. And it wasn't as crowded as those common places like St James. The only drawback is that it closes at 3am. Very early.

My clubbing mood is back. I guess I like the feeling of being tipsy and able to lose some of my own awareness yet staying sober. Perhaps, most of the time I think too much of how ppl judge me so when it comes to letting my hair down, I can reali do so at ease. It feels great.

Though it was the first time I go clubbing with this few of my colleagues (inclusive of 2 new staff and 1 from another dept), it was an enjoyable feeling despite the initial moments of uncertanties since afterall I have never gone clubbing with them b4. I am already looking fwd to our next proposed clubbing date. Too bad I am leaving them soon...dunno issit possible to keep in touch or not.

Trying to sleep....think I slept too much during these few days of clearing leave, thats why I am still awake now. HA.

The coldest day of my life - Chi gu de leng

2008-05-22T22:32:00.008+08:00

When I said that I had a terribly cold day at Disneyland, I wasn't quite kidding. It was colder than in Mt Fuji!

Ironically, Disneyland was one of my most anticipated places of interest yet it turned out to be a disastrous cold and rainy place that I remembered it to be.

At first it was only drizzling. We thought the rain might be short-lived but its not Spore.

Initially, we were quite high with the rain and strong wind that blows onto our face. Well it was quite fun at first you see, with the wind so strong that it blew up our umbrella. We were like screaming away.

The indoor is the only comfort zone that can keep me warm and smiley.

From the wetness of my pants, you can imagine how drenched and uncomfortable I feel.

We then queued for an outdoor ride. When it was our turn to be on the ride, it has already started pouring heavily. Yes, heavily. Our sweater, hair and all are totally wet! AAAHHHH....the start of nightmare.

It was so damn uncomfortable and terribly cold esp when the strong wind keep blowing whenever we reach outdoors. I regretted not wearing thick enough clothing. Serve me right for wearing so thin clothing. Underestimated the coldness but curse the rain and wind.

Since after that first ride, Clara and myself were freezing for the rest of the day, Diana was reasonably warmed with her rather thick sheepy sweater that she bought. Thus, Clara and myself have termed the coldness as 'Chi gu de leng" -coldness that strike right into the bone and heart.

Unfortunately, the rain in TOKYO is long-lived.

Sorry, I dint manage to take much photos cos I was literally freezing beneath the wet sweater I was wearing. Totally lost the mood and strength to take photos.

We are left to take those seemingly kiddish indoor rides which has however brighten up our mood. The indoor rides bring you into beautiful dreamylands and fantasy worlds that totally rock the inner child in you. It was entertaining and beautiful!

Yet, after finishing each indoor ride, we are back to facing the harsh cold weather so as to get to other places. Back to freezing time. GRRRR.....

We thought we will most prob get sick the next day. But luckily, we dint as we were left to fend for ourselves for the extended 3 days all on our own.

Mt Fuji to arriving Tokyo

2008-05-14T00:24:00.013+08:00

On our bus journey to Mt Fuji, the soil and scenery outside starts to turn snowy, window pane becomes colder....Woohoo....

As I did not bring enough warm clothing, I was so worried that I might just freeze there. haa

But Diana is so fully clothed! She bought this sheepy green sweater at Nagoya, Japan. A worthwhile buy I thought!

Haaha.. so cute.

We finally reached the foot of Mt Fuji!

It was beautiful up there if you ask me. It was snowing slightly at certain point in time which got us even more excited. Took quite some videos there but wun be uploading here. Just can't contain our excitement at that time, though we look abit 'swakoo' but we were reali happy to be there.

Afterall, I have not seen snow mountain b4!

Actually, it wasn't extremely cold, luckily. But thanks to the aunties in our tour bus who lent me her scarf and lend my frens the gloves. So nice of them! Clara also gave me a pocket warmer thatcan transmit heat to my body by sticking it to my skin!

We then head to TOKYO!

First stop: Odaiba.

During free and easy lunch time, we skipped our lunch and Diana brought us to Venusfort shopping centre, which she has been to last year.

Venusfort is a must to go. The shops sell pretty and unique clothes. Too bad we were like shopping against time!

A row of beautiful tulips outside Venusfort!!

The interior of the shopping centre is so pretty! Prices are acceptably middle-range.

Next stop: Ameyakko shopping street. Like Bugis street. Lower priced range.

Our dinner. SEDAP!

Next day: A dreadfully cold and rainy day at DISNEYLAND.

Some more pictures...

2008-05-08T23:20:00.015+08:00

I am losing some patience in uploding the pics....while it is still lasting, here are some other photos. Ha. :>

Day 3 - Mt Fuji District- hot springs and sceneries....

Owakudani Valley- its a volcanic area with a strong stench of sulphur. Some of the bursting sulphur is captured on videos but I wun be uploading it here.

It is said that after eating the 'black shelled egg', your life can be extended for 7 more years. As if I believe in this crap. But I still eat it anyway. Ha.

The egg inside taste and look the same as any normal egg lar. haa. Or maybe the egg yoke is more yellowish?

A good view of the Mt Fuji can be taken at Oshino Hakkai- a mini park with a crystal clear pond and flow of mineral water where you can refill your bottle with.

Tada..A view of Mt Fuji from afar! The view looks too fake to be true but its real! We will be going to Mt Fuji the next day for a close-up of the snow mountain!

At our onsen (hot spring) resort- we have to dress in our robes provided in our tatami room to attend the dinner.

There is a mini onsen in our resort. It was so unspectacular that we don't even feel like trying in the end. We were expecting some big hot spring pools of varying tempt. Maybe cos our resort is a very small one.

The place to take your public bath before entering the onsen. Oh yar, you have to be totally naked when taking the bath and entering the pool. *winks*

More pictures....

2008-05-03T03:34:00.016+08:00

Just came back from a late night movie on Iron Man with Yiling, Shiying and Winson on Friday nite. I must declare that I cannot watch late night movie or play overnight majong. Slept too much during the show and now I am so awake. Sianz. But for overnite clubbing, think still can...ha.

So shall update some photos now before I lose the mood and become lazy.

Pls see previous post first for sequential viewing.

In brief,

Day2 -Nara & Kyoto- Parks and Temple....

After a good night's sleep, we are all geared up in contact lens and ready for a day of activities.

At Nara Deer Park and Todaiji Temple

Alot of deers walking ard!

I can't help to laugh at the fortune slips that Clara and Diana got. The fortune words are so mean!! One of them got half-luck, the other got no luck! Read it for yourself. hahahaha....ops...I am so mean. Lucky I dint play this. haa.

We have to squeeze thru this hole to get good luck!

I hope I have good luck from now on.

Kiyomizu Temple -worth going as there are many interesting shops along the way to the temple.

Our lunch. Not very nice.

Nagoya - our hotel location and shopping area

Sale of ciagarettes in vending machines.

Nagoya underground shopping mall. This sales asst is very frenly and cute. So we request to take a pic with her!

A good dinner to round up our day.

Central Japan - 13/4/2008 to 23/4/2008

2008-05-01T00:24:00.007+08:00

In brief,

Currency: 1000 yen - $13.67 . With CTC tour group. 7 days package tour-$2034 booked at NATAS fair. Flight deviation for extension of 3 days:$125. Other expenses (inclusive of tour guide fees, hostel fees, food and personal expenses): <$2000 Total expenses for the 10 days trip: ~$4000

Day 1 in Osaka - Flowers, flowers, flowers....

Previous night sleep was spent on plane so we were all quite tired due to lack of sleep but....we managed to see sakura flowers which no doubt brighten our day!

Sakura in close-up. Quite cute.

Other kind of cherry blossom. (not sakura)

The flowers over there are very beautiful and colourful!

Our dinner on that day

[P/s: YJ, hope you have arrived safely at New Jersey. More good things to come I am sure! Be safe and healthy!]

Already back from Central Japan

2008-04-26T17:03:00.006+08:00

Forgive me for failing to update in my blog about my leave. I was quite busy during the days before my trip which was from 13/4/2008 to 23/4/2008.

I always look fwd more to things that have yet to happen as it never fails to give me the feeling of anticipation and excitement which can be very much more pleasurable than the trip itself which passes by faster than I realize.

Often, I find myself in the state of disillusion every time I return from a long trip where I find it a tad difficult to adjust my mood back to reality.

Memories and snapshots of the trip are somewhat surreal as I try to recall certain details of the trip that has happened. It is somewhat unbelievable that I have been there and done that and the realization that it is now over.

It has been an enjoyable experience with 2 of my beloved friends, Diana and Clara, though the experience was rather a rush, busy and tiring one, rather than a laidback, leisure kind of trip. Ha. 3 of us are always the slowest and the last to reach the tour bus among other tour mates and we wonder why we are always the slowest when we are already rushing like mad. Not forgetting to mention, the last 3 days of extension all on our own are the most 'siong' ones with our heavy luggage and shopping bags burdened on our already ached body, tiring feet and blistered hands.

Diana & Clara: a BIG thanks for making this trip happen! I will treasure those private moments that we have spent together and I look fwd to more of such oversea rides!

Shall update some photos when I am more free and in the mood. :>

On a happier note

2008-03-30T15:13:00.003+08:00

I am trying to refrain from being grumpy and blog about my recent late nights at work. But then again, who ask me to be going to Japan and thus having to rush my cases like mad now, on top of the already high caseload? But still, I am glad that I can have the choice not to stay in this job, regardless of whether my 2 yrs contract will be extended to a permanent post or not. It is up to me to say, not the company. I am in control.

Pls support my sis' show at 9pm. It is ending soon in the coming week. I am certain that everyone finds this show an entertaining one, the stories are so close to Sporeans' heart. Thank you to those who have given me positive feedback about my sis. Afterall, she is just a newbie who is trying out the entertainment industry out of curiosity to try new things and not for fame. I know my sis. She is not that kind. So let us admire her courage in trying out things that she desires and not the seemingly glamorous side of her. Pls give her your greatest encouragement and support for her future shows. :> THANKS!

(p/s Karina, sorrie that I did not have the chance to tell u abt the above update on my sis. Will send u the links to watch her shows on youtube. )

Looking forward to my Japan trip and the counting down to my last day at work. I am so so happy. Waahhaaaha.....

Do things that make you happy, if the consequences are what you can bear.

Letting go...

2008-03-03T23:50:00.001+08:00

i have chosen to let go of certain things in my life at different stages. things, people, emotional baggage...soon enough maybe my job too.

I have let go of 1 dear fren whom we have not contacted for the past 6 mths since after you-noe-wat. I had chosen to let go not bcos the person means nothing. Its just too bothering whenever I thought of it. If you think you are who I am referring to and still reading my blog, pls contact me if you are still not petty enough to regard me as your once dear fren. tks v much.

certain qns that have always been in my mind which i have chosen to regard them as invisible has finally resurfaced once again. i have committed the same mistake it seems. it always leave me with a total sense of emptiness, insecurity and dissatisfaction at the end of the journey. I will choose to let go once and for all. Let me slap myself hard and remind myself not to fall into the trap anymore.

I believe letting go is therapeutic in the long run....though for now I have to bear with the very unpleasant repercussions in the short run.....

I have only my japan trip that i can look fwd to now....
i yearn for a prince charming to appear too....ha....fat dream....

BELATED

2008-02-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

hmm...Forgive me if you had expected me to post on my bdae pressies and stuff in Jan 2008 and yet I didn't. The fact that I did not mention anything on blog doesn't mean I don't like the presents received ok. I am just not in that habit of taking pictures of things and posting about recent happenings.

But seriously, I do like all the presents received from you guys. In brief and eliminating some, there is the very nice clutch bag and accessory belt that I have been trying to find chance to dress them with. Then there is the flashy top flown from UK which I like it very much too. Boots and bag bought from HK that are something out of the ordinary. Accessory and hand-made card from Australia. It has been such a long time since I received a hand-made card from someone with words from the heart. Appreciated it. How it reminds me of receiving lotsa Xmas cards from the mail like in the past. So nostalgic. And for a few whom I have yet to collect from you, I thank you in advance first. haha.

I probably will wear some of the above for the coming CNY. Yeahz! New clothes and accessories for the new year mood! Yippie!

THANK YOU FOR REMEMBERING MY BIRTHDAY AND CHOOSING SUCH WONDERFUL PRESENTS FOR ME. I LOVE THEM ALL. THANK YOU VERY MUCHIE. IF ONLY EVERYDAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!

In Search

2008-01-27T00:05:00.000+08:00

Seriously I do not have not much dislikes towards the 'nature' of my job but I won't say that I love my job. Who can truly say that they love their job?

I esp don't fancy the inadequacies of the organization's policy in administering the assistance schemes. Very often, I do agree that it is difficult for the needy in our society to get assistance. I felt frustrated with my recent new approving officer (AO) when she demands certain documents or details that are unnecessary in my point of view. Why delay our clients in getting the assistance just so to wait for the so-called required documents? Why withhold the assistance just so to meet some stupid SOPs that can be met thereafter? It is plain silly and uncalled for. If the client's needs can be placed on priority, certain things can actually be made more flexible but still meeting the SOPs. But if the organization works according to what I envision to be, things might turn out chaotic and messy. Ha.

There and then, I hate my job when I have to deal with recalcitrant clients who are uncooperative yet demanding of our assistance. They spoil my mood literally. Recently, I have to laugh uncontrollably over a complaint that my management received from a client about me. He made a few groundless accusations of me with regard to my service in the past periods of assistance. I printed out the email and told my colleague that I should go and laminate this first complaint of my work life. The content of his complaint was quite laughable as I swear to God that I have not said those nasty or demeaning things to him like what he has claimed. The reasons are clear as to why he has to resort to making those accusations: He is upset with me for not extending the assistance for his family. Oh well, not that I want to stigmatize ppl who are known to the hougang chalet, being mentally ill doesnt give you the privilege to sprout rubbish just so to get what you want. I am sure he will not let this rest in peace. I shall await what more rubbish he is gonna come up with.

I am in the midst of planning for further studies. I started out working to take a break from studies and now it is time to rethink my next route. Though somehow I thought it may have been more ideal if I had persevered till my 4th year of study then or had discovered earlier my niche of interest. But I don't wish to regret things that have been done. I guess I treasure my current work experience too.

Till then....have a great work week ahead of you. :>

To Advertise

2008-01-10T23:29:00.000+08:00

To do my friends justice, I am supposed to help to advertise their business blogs.

So if you are looking to buy personalized necklace and accessories for yourself or as gifts for others, pls visit this blog to purchase:

http://toppings-for-me.blogspot.com/

The necklaces are really nice and unique. You can even use the necklaces as lanyards for your company tag.

Next, if you or anyone would like to do some personal training for your body to tone or shape up, pls visit this website to hire a professional trainer to attain your desired goals:

http://www.fitnessforce.sg/

Heh. Thanks for your attention. Enjoyz!

This and That

2008-01-06T01:39:00.000+08:00

I am someone who is easily inspired. It could be a movie, an incident, a piece of news or a song.
Usually the feeling is very transient but I enjoy the instantaneous moment of uplift. Like I always say, I like songs with 'gao chao'. Pls introduce me songs with such. I will love it.
Anyway, rented Prison Break VCD to watch recently. After watching the episodes, feel like breaking into prison...like so exciting. hahaa..

I felt happy that my parents did not give in to my sis's suggestion to allow her bf to move into our place temporarily. I felt happy that my feelings has been considered and cared for. I nearly thot that my parents will just give in to every request of my sis' just so to reduce conflict with her. My father speak up good and rational reasons for having to discourage it. My sis has little to say. Thanks god.

Sometimes I find that my values are in conflict with that of my organization in terms of certain work processes and schemes. I disagree with certain things but I have to follow. Like I said to my colleague, I cannot convince myself to do something if I do not understand the rationale of doing it. I need to know why. But in many occasions, I will just follow and save the trouble of asking why. I will then whine and complain. Why am I so rebellious and uncooperative at heart? But I know I'm not.

Turning 24 soon yet I still feel like i'm 19. Damn. When can I feel like a real adult? I want to grow up.

Xmas & Bdae gathering

2007-12-23T15:12:00.000+08:00

Yest nite, we went to PS cafe in Demsey road and the beautiful Ben & Jerry for dinner and dessert. It was so hard to find the way without a car. We took a bus there and walk in by ourselves b4 the rain starts to pour in.

I like the Ben & Jerry over there. The place has unique layout and comfortable ambience. Thanks to Jenny for bringing us there after much confusion in locating where it is. hee. And must mention that the bartender is so so thoughtful and sensitive to offer to help us take pic, offered Ivy a non-alcoholic drink for free, offered to help us to present and cut the cake, offered to pour the beer into the glasses and lastly, bother to make eye contact and bid farewell to everyone of us when we leave (though i was abit disappointed to find out that he say goodbye to everyone else and not just only me...waahaha..) He was just like a personal bartender for our table. hehee.

We had our cake cutting for Ivy's bdae celebration and xmas gift exchange.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IVY! ( who just turned 23 when i am going to turn 24 soon! aaargh)

Jenny, I like ur scarf!. V nice!

Our xmas gift xchange! Guess wat each of us got?

See it for urself! Its hard to believe they cost less than $20!. hehe.
All of us are satisfied with wat we received esp me! I got something that I want. It was an accessory belt or wateva it was called! Thanks Stella for getting what I had actually wanted to get for myself! Muacks!

Shuwei got my sparkling bag. She had beta liked it and use it!

Thanks every1 for the time and company and Ivy's Bf (Junwen) for bringing us home after that. :> We will see each other v soon. Hint hint Ivy?

Cheers to every1 for a season of love and giving! Merry Xmas to all my readers!

Dislikes

2007-12-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

Went to O-B-S camp as part of my induction for work last week. Had some muscle aches den. Sometimes quite shiok to have muscle aches. It means you have worked out quite a few muscle groups that you normally don't. The camp not very siong as I would anticipate to be. haha. I mean, was expecting some height challenging or scary stunts that we have to do but not many leh. Maybe cos its only 2 days camp and it has to cater to the various age groups bah. But still an experience lar since never stay at O-B-S b4 mah.

Over the past many years of group activities, I realise that I don't like certain ppl. I mean I am sure some ppl don't realli like me as well but certainly I am entitled to my personal preferences for disliking ppl too?

I don't like egoistic people. Be it guy or girl. A person can exude confidence, its totally fine. But if she tries to command without even bothering to listen to others, or even worse, listens and put him/her down right on the spot without even considering the option suggested, that kind of behaviour totally gains no respect from me.

But I also realise that actuali the more u dislike a person, the more u shld try to talk to her. Talk to her more on other stuff can elicit the other good sides of her personality to you. Den slowly u will grow to like her all over again. 1 more fren is beta than 1 more enemy as it says. It works sometimes. Familiarity breeds liking....indeed.

AOB (any other business)

2007-11-25T20:43:00.000+08:00

I once read back my old posts out of boredom. Somehow I am quite amazed by how inspired I can be to write on certain random things in life. I seem to have lost all inspiration to be able to blog like before. Ha. It could be the different stage of life that I am in. I dunno. But I still feel that I am the same old me but why that I no longer can blog like how I used to before? It's weird.

I realize that everyone looks nice when they smile. Everyone and anyone. Of cos I can't deny the fact that some ppl do have greater and brighter smiles than others due to their own physical attributes. I am generally not a smiley person. I wish I am. I dun like my teeth bcos of some gaps in between. I dun like my face shape bcos its big and I have very small mouth which makes it harder to smile I feel. Ha. So many stupid reasons rite. But I remember that I felt quite encouraged when a friend once commented that I look 'cute' (not exactly flattering but still nice to hear) when I smile so he told me that I shld smile more. Praise does work wonder. Lets remind ourselves not to be too stingy in praising others everday.

I feel quite bored going lunch with the same usual khakis at work. I prefer when my other female colleague joins. If not, sometimes I am stuck with going with the same 2 or 3 guys to lunch and I really feel mentally stifled. They are nice ppl I must say...but too nice and proper. Can only talk about work. V sian...so much so that I rather eat in office sometimes. They don't ask enough qns or chat about their own lives which make me feel like shutting up as well. I feel tired having to be mostly the one to think of things to say during lunch just to break the silence among them. Talking to females is easier. Females are more chatty. For guys, its easier to talk to cheeky types who will disturb you or the kind who is opinionated enough to discuss various topics with. But yet I have another male colleague who is too opinionated...he likes to challenge me on the things that I said which gets on my nerves as he makes me feel whatever I say is wrong. Haa... I am so hard to please. No...actually I dont think so.

It is nice to idolize a fav popstar or singer. I used to have idols whom I can divert my attention to. Waiting for his appearance on TV, waiting to buy his new album etc. I lost all these interest. Currently, no one is on my list. Quite sad. I must find someone to idolize so that I have something to look fwd. Hahz...

The things that I say is so random.....see... I have lost the ability to blog properly already.

Break

2007-11-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

Feel quite lazy and unmotivated to continue my blog on the since-so-long-ago china trip so will just stop my update till there bah I suppose.

So as for now, don't bother to read back my blog if you have been doing so (thanks..though i dunno how many of u do) as I dun think I will be updating any sooner...so save the trouble yar!

Last but not least, shall show post some random pics of my company's first D&D. Can guess the theme?

Argh....some error occured while uploading the pics! So sway! hmm next time perhaps..sorry!

Day 5 to 7 to Nanjing

2007-10-18T22:52:00.000+08:00

Our comfortable 2 hrs express train from Shanghai Railway Station to Nanjing.

Btw fyi, much information needed along our journey was gathered from the book Lonely Planet for reference. Lonely Planet may not have the best recommendations of tourist attractions but it has been helpful in giving most of the info that we need. For hostels, can visit Hostelworld.com as it provides a listing of some of the hostels in the world which you may want to consider booking though the listing isn't exhaustive at all. Any other better recommendations u guys have related to travel, pls feel free to share with me and the rest in my blog. Thanks.

Finally, my cousin is up on shot! He doesn't like to take pics!

The hostel in Nanjing is the one which we booked directly from our hostel in Shanghai. Under the same hostelling organization. I don't like this hostel bcos the shared toilet only got 1 pathetic small cubicle! Imagine it urself by seeing the photo below. I dread showering and using toilet each time! My sis again asks me to count my blessings bcos she has been to much worse hostel in Korea.

Sister's robotic pose along the corridor.

Our 4 beds dorm! I like this layout bcos it made chatting much easier for us.

Pls see the bathroom area I was talking about. Only 2 bathrooms and 1 toilet cubicle.

Pls compare the above with the bathroom below which is the one back in my shanghai hostel. 2 bathrooms and 2 toilet cubicles and much bigger and cleaner! Great difference rite? !

Despite me marking down this hostel in terms of its overall impression, I must say the location of my hostel was just fantastic. Nearby my hostel has such great shopping streets. Can tell taxi driver that you want to go to Fu Zi Miao. Its in that area.

Shanghai has too many shopping centres. What we like is such shopping streets!

We dint manage to come across any good food, as you can see from their facial expressions below. Disappointment after disappointment. haaa... The nu rou shao mai which I have told some of you guys about is the dish on the right! Nu rou shao mai without nu rou! So misleading!

To be continued....

Hope u guys dun find my blog boring..... me blogging them just so to remember the trip. Photographs are really footprints of memory. If not, memories might just fade with time.... and it will be hard to retrieve them once they are lost.

A Question Mark

2007-10-17T23:11:00.000+08:00

When you realize that the things that matter to you actually don't matter that much to someone else...suddenly, the things also don't matter to you anymore....

What used to bother me in the past also does not bother me now as much as before.... no longer finding silly thoughts to ponder over....

Maybe it just goes to show that certain thing has started to lose its significance in my life.... what I used to hold on dearly has started to depreciate over time....

Ironic...

............................. ..................................... ............................

Day 4 to Hangzhou

2007-10-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

This is another day tour that we booked from our hostel to visit Hangzhou.
Hangzhou, from the various destinations t hat we have been, is proven to be a more beautiful place than the over hyped Suzhou, it seems.

A must go place:

Xi Hu (West Lake)

Another must go place:

Song Cheng (Song Dynasty)

Other that that, we went to other memorial sites and authentic temples to visit, which has little impressions on me. HA.

Think u guys can just see my photos and don't think wanna go China le rite. haha.
I wld say if whole of my 8 days trip is fully tour packaged, I would not have much impression of China bah, given the kind of places we went to which is mostly sight seeing in a rushed manner if were to be in a tour grp.

Thats the end of our 2 day tours. Next few days is my personal favourite of Nanjing that we have took a 2 hrs train ride to visit on our own.

Day 3 to Suzhou

2007-10-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

We book a day tour directly from our hostel to travel to other nearby cities from Shanghai. Day tours in china are pretty disorganized and haphazard. Some hiccups along the way though on the whole it is still fine and sort of enjoyable.

Plus points about going on day tour:
Just follow the tour guide. No need to waste time finding and asking for directions.
Just hop on the bus and you get to go to many places in a day. No hassles for transport.
You get to listen to stories and explanations made by the tour guide relating to the places you have been to.

Minus point:
Restricted time spent on each place of interest. Everything is so rush.
You do not have vivid impressions of the places you have been to because you are not the one who plan the itinerary.
You are forced to visit commission-based destinations like factory for silk or tea production that you won't choose to go if on your own.

Suzhou is described as the Eastern version of Venice because of its various lakeside and pavilion sceneries. Hmm...abit exaggerated lah. hahaz. Suzhou, in my opinion is just so so lor.

Some places of interests that we have been in Suzhou:

Shi Zi Lin (Lion Garden):

Han Shan Shi Jing Qu (Hanshan Temple):

Bei Shi Ta (North Temple Pagoda):

During the bus journey: Both awake...

Midway: Both asleep.... hehe so cute.

I think the most "vivid"part of the journey in Suzhou was the late realization that my sis was kena 'cheated' in buying the overpriced Zhi Sa Hu (ceramic cups and teapots) at a factory that we were made to visit. Zhi Sa Hu was the topic of dismay when we found out that Zhi Sa Hu was sold abundantly in Nanjing at a much cheaper price! Knife stabbed right into the heart....was how my sis described her agony upon the sight and mention of Zhi Sa Hu when we visit Nanjing days after. heha...i guess such experiences are very common in China bah.

Day 1 & 2- Shanghai

2007-09-23T22:20:00.000+08:00

Our hostel in Shanghai. Letour Hostel, registered under Hostelling International.
At first thought nothing of it but my sister asks me to count my blessings cos there are worse hostels.
After counting, I find it really a pretty decent hostel.

The cosy 'living room'

Our 4 persons dorm. One person ~SD $15/day.

See the difference of the state of the room after a few days. Can't imagine myself sharing this dorm with other travellers if I were to be on my own. I need a big space to put my things and move about!

Behind me is the famous stretch of Nanjing Lu Bu Xing Jie. A whole street of shopping centres which we merely breeze past cos shopping wasn't our main agenda.

Eating was our much look fwd activity, despite various disappointment with the food that we have tried and eaten. Poor luck on us. Only our first stop at this Xiao Long Bao shop is worth mentioning.

A must-go tourist attraction- Shanghai Wai Tan, The Bund.
The day and night scenery of the place look different. Night view to be posted in future posts.

Big and juicy cut slices of watermelons and my favourite rockmelons sold at only 20cents each! The sellers were seen fleeing away speedily when spotted signs of patrolling police.

The past colonial history explains for the European architectural style of the surrounding buildings at The Bund.

Trip to China (8 Sept 2007 to 16 Sept 2007)

2007-09-17T21:02:00.000+08:00

Prelude

Actually China is the last Asian place I would ever think of visiting if given a choice, among all other interesting places that I can rather go. But given the opportunity to meet and travel with my sis and others, I have no reason not to go.

A trip to remember

If there is one thing most enjoyable about this recent trip which I am back from, it must be the company that I went along with. Yeah. Its my dearest mother, lovely sis and cheeky cousin brother. This is the first rare opportunity that 4 of us can come together to travel together. My cousin even changes his reservist dates to make available for this trip. During the trip, 4 of us shared alot of funny and interesting conversations back in our hostel dorm at night. Oh ya staying together in a 4 person dorm is definitely the main highlight. My sis shared with us alot of her stories and encounters from her past 3 mths of travelling through HK, Korea, Beijing and Inner Mongolia. I really get to understand my sis better from this trip. Her thoughts, sentiments, point of views on various things that she has seen and felt. I guess it is through such a trip that creates various chances of communication between us that has brought us closer which we otherwise will not in the comfort of our home. My sis is leaving again for US in a few days time to meet her bf over at Minesota. I guess my distant relationship with her is going to restart once again.

The backpacking nature of this trip adds spices to the journey. Alot of uncertainties and trial and error. Disappointments, frustrations, tiredness and surprises along the way. But my sis loves to take charge so she was the one who oversee most of the things. I also witness how she manages to 'argue' with the ticket counter staff with seemingly good usage of Chinese to win our rights in passing an entrance gate. Like what my mum commented, my sis has indeed 'hardened her wings', we don't have to worry for her anymore. She is free to fly on her own. Indeed.

The People

If there is anything not worth mentioning about this trip, its the disgraceful and uncivilised behaviour of the Chinese people. They love to spit anywhere on the ground. They have bad customer service attitude. They cut queues without battling an eyelid. They knock into you without saying an apology. Never will I want to associate myself as a Chinese as I am proud to identify myself as a Singaporean Chinese. But I guess the behaviour of people usually progress slower than the socio-economic aspect of the nation. We have to understand the transitional phases that the nation has gone through in order to make sense of the citizens' behaviour.

Regrets

Anyway, I dismay with the fact that I have very limited knowledge of the rich cultural history of China to be able to appreciate the beauty of the historical sites that we have visited, unlike my mother who is very well versed with the stories and characters that we have come across. Good for her.

Will perhaps post some photos in my next few posts. Taken some videos as well but very lack of memory space. But I find it very fun to take videos. Shall fine tune my videotaping skills in my future travel trips.

Ciao for now.

These are the tree trunks I'm talking abt!

2007-09-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

Sentosa Retreat & Updates

2007-09-01T00:36:00.002+08:00

I was back from my staff retreat at Sentosa! Guess which resort my company has arranged for us to stay? It's siloso beach resort! The one just opposite the siloso beach cum cafe delmar! Rem the black exterior building that we walked past during our 2/4 outing to sentosa last sat? thats the resort! Quite excited to get to stay in the new resort which was also featured in magazines and tv. hehez.

The characteristic of the resort is being close to nature...so close that you have tree trunks brunching out in ur hotel room! Yes Yes! In my four people bedroom, our beds were right staring at two tree trunks behind a glass showcase panel! In my colleagues' bedroom, they have a similar phenomenon but theirs have no glass panel at all! What they have is a plot of land with soil and two tree trunks growing right up through a hole towards the sky! U literally can trace the branch right up into the sky! Amazing rite? I really wonder what happened when it rains man!!! Cos there is no cover above the hole where the trunk shoots out. hahaha. I look at it in disbelief when i walked into their room man.

I am still waiting for my colleague to send me the photos to show to u guys! The swimming pool looks great too. Got mini waterfall and mini slides to play but I dint bring swim suit! Next time can slip into the hotel to see see the hotel and use use the pool as nobody cares one!

I like everything and anything nature but whats so irritating is the insects and mosquitoes. I have some mosquitoes bites on my legs out on the beach at nite during the retreat. Sianz. Now still very itchy! If only nature can eliminate all these pests and insects!

Btw, can the rest pls upload the sentosa pics somewhere before everyone forgets abt the outing totally? My cam not many pics as it was kept in the bag for most of the time. Still, i am uploading the link via email to u all. Pls check ur inbox. I am still waiting from the rest to get the pics ok! Dun act blur forget hor! And thanks to pei for the ever prompt and well written update on ur blog!

And yea, yokie, of cos i still rem our swimming date. Think have to wait for me to come back from shanghai le leh. Oh yes, for you guys information, I will be off with my mum and cousin to meet my sis over at Shanghai next weekend for a week! Any outings pls postpone till i back! ;p

I am back to my salsa lessons once again after a pause of like 5 mths or so. In the end we cant afford to wait for the nus salsa club to org for us anymore and decided to just go to the sch to sit in the intermediate classes which is open to anyone who can just pay on the spot and sit in the class on whichever Friday during that timeslot. Flexible system....I like.
Though sometimes I must lament that my salsa friend cannot lead me in the dance due to his 2 left feet, I must commend him on his very positive and never say die attitude. I think he feels more stressful than anyone in the class due to his very limited background in dancing and his far-from-streamlined and way-too-bulky body. Infact he is more eager than me to want to practise the steps during the past few mths. He is basically a very disciplined person who strives to achieve what he sets out to do, from what his academic results and sports achievements have shown. I believe he is holding this same mentality towards challenging his kinesthetic abilities. For me, I don't have flair in dance but have the interest but may lack of perseverance and tend to give up easily.

Okie thats all folks.

Some random pics from KL trip (18 Aug - 21 Aug 07)

2007-08-23T23:09:00.000+08:00

* click to enlarge pics.

Thanks for making this trip happen, guys. I have always wanted to go to KL and Sunway Lagoon for a short getaway and its one rare occasion that we get to travel together.
Despite an 'unnecessary' event that has occurred which was pretty quite uncalled for, I will still remember these very moments that we have ever spent tog. *Thanks*

More of other pics to come when I get to see Yokie to exchange pics....Yokie, feel free to reuse any of these pics to post on ur blog if u do find any of ur photogenic pics. haha

Monday Bluesss......

2007-08-07T22:28:00.000+08:00

Monday was a bad start of the week for me at work.

An administrative error (not within my full control) has to occur on the most difficult-to-handle client of mine. It was the 'swayest' thing that has to happen. The 'near to mentally unsound' client walk in, made a huge fuss of the error, demanded what he wants, insisted who he wants to see and argued on what should be given to him. My team leader kindly sits in the session with me to act upon his weighty presence and we begin an arduous 1 and 1/2 hr negotiating session with the client, with 90% of the time having to bear his senseless arguments and his saliva sprouting at a certain projectile on the table where I was conscientiously trying to avoid as best as I could. I pity my team leader and really thank him for his company to brave through the session with me. He even bought some custard puff for me because he know that we both have forsaken our lunch time because of the client.

During the session, I experience an intense headache which refuse to go away only after a few hrs later. Oh god, I seldom have headache and yesterday was really the time when I know how a headache literally feels like...And worse of all, my lip inflammation has a sudden outbreak yesterday and it has caused double misery to me...

Today was not spared. The same client walks in to haunt me. Not really me but my covering colleague. He demanded something from my colleague who has helped me to handle him last friday when I was on course. So he came back to bother my colleague whom he accused to have lost a document of his. Due to one reason or another, I was advised not to re-produce the something that he has lost. After a tedious tussle with him, my team leader and myself have to give in to his nonsense by producing the something that he wants only after doing some amendment to it. He then leaves the office grudgingly but still demanding that the something wasn't the one that he has lost.

I hate this feeling similar to having to give in to a school bully just so to stop him from stirring up further trouble. Is there fairness like this? Clients who can argue their way through get what they want cos we are obliged to give in. This is so not fair to other clients who tried their means to be self-reliant and work hard on their own.

Haizz......I can anticipate the client coming in to my office again for a new trouble which I have thought of what he can come up with. I felt bad that this client of mine has to get my team leader and my covering colleague to be involved in the end. I shall write them a mini card to express my gratitude and apology after this issue resolves... but I wonder how will this issue be resolved when he is so difficult to handle....

My lip inflammation never gets better and I went to see doctor tonight for consultation. In the end it incur me extra cost because of a doctor memo that he has written for me to show it to the skin specialist whom I am advised to visit on my own. LAME. If I had know the doc memo cost an extra $5, I might as well don't want him to write!! IDIOTIC DOCTOR. He looks like he has just graduated from his medical course and just smoking his way thru. SHITTY.

On another note, feels glad to know that my mum will be back at home tomorrow yet again. Having someone at home to await for my returning from work is something that I cannot take for granted as my family members are not at home everyday. I remember my mum once told me that once I started work, she will come back from msia together with my dad at the end of the week unlike previously. I have mixed feelings upon hearing that. I dunno to feel happy or sad. But till date, she has not acted upon that. I think she wants to accompany me at home. I guess I prefer it this way although I know my dad in msia needs her company as well. I can't imagine my life without my mum. She is my best confidante who never fails to understand my point of view and loves listening to me as much as sharing her ideas with me. I wish I can marry my mum.

I always felt misunderstood whenever friends assume that I like to be independent and is aloof or hostile. I know I am not like that. I believe I am just trying and hoping to be cos I always feel insecure with the ppl around me so much that I don't dare to rely on anyone. I scared that my friends might leave me one day for other new friends that they have known along their way... my love life which I have taken great courage to embark on has been an unexpected failure ....my family i know will not leave me but I am scared of misfortune to happen..... under such circumstances I know I have only myself to depend on yet I feel so inadequate....I wish to rely on others cos I am too heavy to rely on myself.....

Sorry for being so melodrama......thats just me once awhile.....which is the feeling I hate most....

Flashes

2007-07-10T22:40:00.000+08:00

My colleague today said something to me after putting down a phone call.
He asked: " Why do people always remember the bad things about others and not the good things?"

I was amused by his sudden outburst and posed him a qn mark. He said that a medical social worker from some hospital recognized his voice by asking whether he is the particular unfriendly L that she has spoken to previously. He then reiterated to me the previous incident that has happened.

I was quite amused by why the social worker dares to say such things but could only reply him that probably it is bcos bad things are more poignant in one's memory thats why they serve to be more outsanding among other memories. I then cheekily offered some comfort to him by saying that I am different from the social worker as I would remember his good bcos he has bought us our favourite muffins previously. :>

I guess I am one who remember significant bad things that have happened unless good things thereafter can serve to override and replace that old. To me, any good memories serve NO purpose if they are unable to last or persist into the future. Thus if they serve no purpose or only cause more distress upon recall, they should be suppressed from memory forever.

Nonetheless, I will try my best to seek the goodness in all mankind. To practise the spirit of forgiveness and generosity. But I am no goddess and do not aim to be one. I can only try within my own limits...

As my horoscope for this mth says:

Accept the fact that one cycle in your life has come to an end and another is beginning. If you realise that the past has gone forever you will be in an ideal position to fully benefit from certain friendly and lively developments just around the corner.

The Cave

2007-06-21T22:36:00.000+08:00

Generally my colleagues are very nice ppl and a jovial bunch of ppl. But most of them sit very far from me as a bunch of us were seated separately in a conference room due to lack of space. So we called ourselves the 'cave men".

I especially like my neighobouring colleagues. hehe. It really points to the psychology theory: Proximity and familiarity breeds liking! haha!

It is amazing how time can tranform relationship among ppl.

From my first impression of 'CC' whom I at first label as "someone whom I cannot click because he is like so passive and quiet and refuse to initiate conversation with me" to the current him who will never let go of any chance to bicker with me just about anything under the sun. Cant believe how we can transform to become at "loggerheads with each other" just with the twist of time. To the extent there was a period when I am just so angry talking to him as he always talks crap and never listen to me seriously. And having to eat lunch with him (and a few others) everyday does not help much. Luckily that period is over. I now know what and how to say things to prevent him from getting on my nerves. haha. But quite fun now lah. I know his style liao so kinda get used to it.

Then there is R who is my "first on the list soulmate". She sits behind me and is the first person whom I literally turn to scold and whine about my clients. Oh pls, I also have to bear all her nonsense and the very unpleasant names she likes to give to those clients ok. haha. So its fair and square! And whenever each of us is under high stress, she will say "Breathe...Breathe..." Sometimes she and I will also combine force to verbally attack CC. All those crap and nonsese la. haha. R and myself can also laugh and get amused over small little things. Guess its our way to relieve some stress at work.

Then there is this "super frenly" colleague who can mix and talk to any kind of people in the world and will always drop by my cluster to chat with us whenever he comes to take his coffee. It gets so frequent that he also starts to get on my nerves during a period of time and I will sometimes pretend not to see him walk near just so not to entertain him. hahaha. I am so mean! He will just come and stand beside you and exclaim a big hello with his wide and sillyish grin and expects you to reciprocate and chat with him. Well, I am not always in the mood to entertain him esp when I am in the middle of something ok. I think he now should be smart enough to detect my mood and behave accordingly. hahaa. But seriously speaking, he is really funny and a very interesting person larh. He has got very loud and thunderous laughter I tell you. Sometimes I wonder what is so funny about what we or others have said that can make him laugh so easily and loudly. Abit crazy. I guess its his way to relieve stress bah. haahh.

Haiz think there will come the day when we need to move and change seats due to some renovation work that is going to take place. Sianz lor. I will miss them one .. Sometimes when they on leave or on mc, I already feel abit lonely. If change to sit with the "wrong frequency kind of ppl", I will be very "sad" one.

As for the rest of the colleagues, there is too many of them. I dont really make extra effort to go and reach out to them. Sometimes got chance will joke around that's all. Well, I am not that kind who will go the extra mile to want to know everyone and to make everyone come to know me. If there is chance for chemistry to spark, it will spark on its own.

Outta spore?

2007-06-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

Yiling, Xiaoyang, Lala, are u guys back in Singapore alr? Must inform when back one leh. Dun happily and quietly reach here oso dun say hor.

Cant believe it....all of you are out of singapore except me! I supposed to be in overseas in June too but plan was cancelled in the end. Sianz.

Nvm I will get to travel in Aug I think.

Luckily I have the 4 sisters to ask me out from time to time while u guys are not around! ;p

Who want to go Australia this yr? We can plan to go find San together! Any takers?

Yeahz. Yokie & Karina are coming back soon too!

Then & Now

2007-06-05T22:37:00.000+08:00

Noticed that....

some frens are better off being just normal frens but not close frens. the closer u get to them, the more they get on your nerves.

some frens you can only be frens with them but not business partners as working together might just screw up whatever yrs of frenship you had with him/her.

some ppl you can only be colleagues with but not frens.

some frens you like but never have the chance to be closer frens. Maybe u like them bcos u have not known them better.

some frens you can only establish platonic frenship with but never love relationship.

some frens you can only think of becoming lover with but not frens.

Y do I feel that I have been taken for granted and treated differently from what it was used to be? Perhaps its better to be treated as a super normal fren. At least I won't get to see any unpleasant sides. At least I am assured to get the typical politeness and agreeableness that would have been granted towards a normal fren. Rather than some ridiculous demands that have been unconsciously placed on me just because of this special status I am holding.

I rationalize that if a person can understand me,
-->he would be able to respect my wishes and decisions.
--->He would then be able to accept me as a whole.
---->And love me unconditionally.

When can I ever find such unconditional love?

It feels very very distant to me......

Maybe it only exists in fairytale as humans are all selfish beings.

I should get myself busy with other things from now...

Mental Really Game Over

2007-06-03T21:47:00.001+08:00

.................................................................................

Greed vs Contentment

2007-05-27T13:37:00.001+08:00

I have always wanted to buy a new digital camera of my own. Previously I have been using my sis's one which I have been putting up with its poor batt life, small screen size and limited functions cum capability. I aim to buy one of my own after I started working.

1.Few months ago, it has to happen that I was so lucky to win a secondhand Nikon camera at my company's luckydraw. I felt so destined to win it! Of so many ppl, of so many prizes, I have to be the one to win what I have wanted to buy initially. It seems to have granted me what I have always wanted. I should be thankful and happy. Yes of cos I am. However, I grow to learn that the camera that I have won cannot satisfy what I really really want due to its low megapixel and again the small screen size. Furthermore, the night mode doesnt produce the fantastic quality which I desire to see. Insofar, I do not have much sense of belonging towards the camera yet, probably knowing that it is secondhand and myself not being the one to have paid for and chosen it out of my own preference. As such, I have not grown a fond interest and ethusiasm towards taking photos with that camera as yet.

2. And it has to happen that recently, a SONY roadshow has to be set up right at my door step to tempt me to buy a new camera which I have been contemplating to! Not to forget the brochures which I have been receiving through mailbox and in between newspapers which have me spotted the camera that I would like to have. $399 with 2GB memory stick, casing, screen protector and mini tripod. 7.2 megapixel and 2.5inch screen size.

I am therefore so tied between giving in to my desire of my wants and being grateful and contented with what I have. My heart goes out to the lovely blue coloured camera with its wide screen size, high mega pixel and various screen modes that would allow greater flexibility. My mum asks me to go for it since I have financial ability now. My dad advises that I make do with what I have first until the current one goes haywire. Ha, a clear distinction in the thinking style between my mum and dad.

3. And just awhile ago, I went to read my horoscope in the newspaper. It reads: Learn to take care of what you have instead of continually seeking more. After all, how many people in the world lack what might consider mere necessities? Be grateful-and responsible-for your current status.

Damn! Such a remark so applicable to the dilemma which I am currently caught in.

Maybe I should learn to like what I have. The camera does give decent shots afterall. I still look reasonable in those pictures taken. If not, the fault should lies in my face and not the cam. Ha.

I still have some hours to decide before the last day of the promotional roadshow ends at 9pm tonight.

Ups & Downs

2007-05-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

At certain periods,

I reali like and enjoy my job when I manage to bring hope and positive change to my clients' lives by being able to help them achieve financial independence. Recently my client thank me on the phone for helping him find the job that he is currently working now and he actually said that he loves his job! Oh man...I was exhilarated to hear this from him and it's my first time to hear ppl say such positive remarks about their job. You may wonder what is the job that I recommended him? It's merely a cleaner in a private school! I must congratulate him on his attitude instead. It is really his attitude that makes him who he wants to be. I am happy for him. I love self-motivating clients and it's who they are that gives me reassurance to what I am doing!

On other times,

I feel stressed out by my job when there seems to be 101 things to do by the end of each and every single day. Sending out reminder letters, meeting clients to disburse vouchers, writing reply letters to MP, making referrals to social agencies, writing social reports, doing data entry, calling employers to find job, contacting clients on HP to ask this and do that, entertaining incoming phone calls, attending walk-in clients without appointment, making home visits, doing HDB screening, changing recommendation details, doing follow-up sessions with existing clients etc. It is no surprise that every colleague has the experience of staying back late or coming in the weekends just to finish doing the never-ending cases.

But nothing is worse than when I need to handle difficult and demanding clients who refuse to budge and just expecting help from us without showing effort in helping themselves. I can't stand rude clients with poor attitude. With regards to such ppl, I admit I tend to forget about service excellance and often let my emotions rule over my head. Sometimes I can feel my blood boil with the attitude that they potray and I will reflect back the attitude that they deserve. To the extent that I want to elicit them to hit me if they dare and complain me to the press if they want. It's challenging and frustrating at the same time though to me its more of the latter. Hopefully, as times goes, I will know better on how to handle such people as I very much dread meeting unreasonable ones.

What is life if without all these perks and downs at work? Haa.... (cold laughter)

Picture browsing

2007-05-05T00:31:00.000+08:00

I was bored and looking tru my pictures and I realize that its reali quite enjoyable to look back photos taken during outings or whatsoever meetings. I think we reali shld make it a point to take more photos whenever we meet up. I usually think its a chore to bring camera out and to remember to take photos can be something that usually slips off my mind...unless it is some special occassion or wat but to think abt it, why need to wait for special occassion then take pictures? Time waits for no man.

And it is even more fun to look at photos with some funny poses or equivalent to such. So ppl, we shall take photos whenever we are out next time ok. haha. Lala, yiling and shiying, you guys shld be scolded for always not wanting to take pics! Realize that not many pics of you guys in my album ah! So naughty. Next time will just anyhow take candid shots of u all!;p

Since I am so bored and in the mood of sharing, I shall just post some reali random photos taken before in the past. They may not be the most flattering pics I have chosen so if happen to catch any unflattering shots of urself, my apology pls...oppss. haha.

No time to sieve out other pics to post....so these will be just be the few for now.

Game Over

2007-04-28T01:45:00.000+08:00

Somehow I knew it was a sooner or later thing.

It is meaningless to try to stay together when the recent incidents that took place just go to show that we cannot understand AGAIN why and when each other is doing this or saying that. It is recurring. It is resurfacing. It's a matter of time. I know it.

With relationship comes expectation. With expectation comes disappointment. However, he told me that he is trying not to have any expections of me.
Ling told me that if someone has no expectation of you just so because he thinks that you can never met up with the expectations, then it is no point. However, if his reason is because he thinks that you are good enough for him not to have any expectation of you, then he is the man. The former applies to me.

I try not to think and believe that this time round it is a painful decision to make as right from the start I knew very well that the old issues are still not resolved yet. As such I am trying to take it in a matter-of-factly manner.

I think my recent posts somehow reflect certain signs about my insecurity towards this relationship all along, now that I read back. It seems to make sense to me why I wrote those things at the different point of time.

My sadness will come from the fact that I have 1 less thing to look fwd to every week now as I know meeting up with him in future will not be something that I look fwd to as much as in the past when the purpose will take on a different meaning.

Friends Forever.

"Sick"

2007-04-20T16:21:00.000+08:00

I have not been sick for a long time and today is the first time I took MC for work!

For what u might wonder? Fever, cough, flu? None of such!

Its my mouth!! Today I could sense the my mouth area is getting worse due to redness and itchiness. I went to the doc and he says it not simply cold sore. It's something else. Allergy or wat which he cannot specify. He gives me oral medication and cream to apply and said that I might need to consult a skin specialist if it never gets better!
Oh my god! It sounds serious and indeed, it looks serious too.

My lips area is very pain and dry and itchy. Can U imagine this combination of distress it is causing me? It is affecting me and causing me alot of discomfort. Eating or talking. Anything that requires the use of mouth. I am so frustrated. It has been 3 weeks and recently the condition has been the worst. The redness has spread to outside the lip area. That's why I have decided to see the doc after self-medication has proven to be ineffective.

Can't believe this is happening to me. Something to the lips that I never thought would happen. Something that I have taken granted for. I really wish I will get well very soon. I still need to work next week. Canot afford to take long leave as I still have alot of things that I have to clear at work. Even contemplating to go to work tmr with my ugly lips to clear my work.

Feel so ugly and helpless and distrssed by the agony this dunno what lip condition has been giving me. AAAHHHH.

Random Ramblings B4 sleep....

2007-04-16T01:11:00.000+08:00

I have got cold sore on my lips. It has been 2 weeks and it's quite painful and itchy at times. Dunno how this viral infection got onto me. Maybe its my hands which are dirty from touching documents and I go and touch my face which triggers it. At first thought its dry lips caused by office envt but applying lip balm serves no use and I have just started to apply medicated cream on it. aaahhhh

I like to explore new clubs in the nightspot of singapore. How I wish I have a stable group of friends who share this same interest and can go regularly with me to explore together. Sometimes I feel that it is hard to get friends who are attached. Their priority is usually placed on their boyfriends. I understand the rationale of it cos I am sometimes guilty of it too. If not, will be this one can that one cannot so if that one cannot, outing will be cancelled due to lack of enough ppl to form an outing group. Sometimes I wish that everyone of my friends is single like before in secondary school days. Then there will be higher chance of each of us organizing outings to meet and chill out. I realized that as ppl grow up and have their own commitments and know more new friends on their own, the frequency of organizing outings has been reduced. Fewer ppl take the initiatives to meet up maybe bcause they hold the assumptions that other ppl wun be interested or are too busy. I like to go to the beach too. How I wish I have a stable group of friends who can go sentosa with me to play beach volleyball and chill out at the beach club on a regular basis.

I wish I wish I wish....

Time to sleep for yet a new week of work and stress....

Experience

2007-04-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

I realize that everything takes experience to make one feel less fearful about doing a certain thing.
May it be cooking or baking, learning a new sport, talking to strangers etc.

Let's take breakup for example.
Whenever I think of my first breakup, it send shivers to my nerves as I can still recall the somewhat similar feel of an intense stab right into my heart.

As much as I do not want to experience it again, somehow the first experience has given me the courage to face any occurance of such in the future. I just feel that I can take it anytime if it happens once again. The anticipated fear isn't as great as before.

Instead, the thought of breakup strongly reminds me the importance of friends as they are the ones who keep me company and straighten my thoughts during that time.

To all my friends who are reading this (i dun like to mention names but it's you included as long as u r reading it), I thank you for your presence and I really cannot afford to lose you guys as you ppl are my pillar of support. The thought of you ppl being around out there is already what matters dearly to me. Though it is not frequent that we meet up regularly, please don't reject my request for company when I need it badly one day.

Friendship is eternal as long as memory stays...

Sorry for being so mushy in this post.I just feel like saying this.

Finally, an inspiration to write.

2007-03-31T18:07:00.000+08:00

All things are not born equal.

Yes. We know that each of us is unique in our own way. But among the different forms of uniqueness, you can't deny that some specific clusters of personalities emerge as champions for survival.

A simple analogy: I want to be like this. But I am not like this bcos I am like that. If I want to be like this, I will have to be motivated to make change to be like this. But its a fact that personality and temperament is largely inborn, if not shaped by inevitable forces of our envt, which with regards to us, is often not within our control and wishes. As such, to make change isn't all that simple as one might think. Whats more, the level of motivation to make change isnt something one can moderate either. It is largely linked to one's personality which one has little control in.

Result: If you want to be like this but your level of motivation to want to make change is low because your personality is as such, then you can only be like that.

Conclusion: Some ppl can naturally be like this because they are born like this. If not, its their family and upbringing that have shaped them to be like this. They are lucky to be born or brought up to be like this. =>Life is not fair.

But there and then, if all things were to work as what I have stated above, then life will be desperate for many as many would have use the above logic as an excuse for their failure in life.
As such, it may be more socially appropriate to phrase it in a way such that if you want to be like this, it is possible as long as you are motivated enough to want to make change to becoming like this.
Conclusion=> Life is hopeful.

BUT could this be jus a fabricated notion used by ppl who are like this to say to ppl who are like that?

Well, most probably not as we have seen the benefits of motivation talks, counselling or behavioral therapy that has served to make positive change in rebuilding lives. As such, one has ought to believe that there is a variable percentage in one's personality that can be subjected to changes, whether in a good or bad way. We thus are in some control of how we want our lives to be.

Say Goodbye... ( by Chris Brown )

2007-03-11T01:51:00.000+08:00

Sigh) Look... we gotta talk.
Dang, I know I know
But it's, it's just some things I gotta get off chest, alright?
Yeah. Woo, ooo, woo, ooo, woo, ooo.
Listen

(Verse 1:)
Baby come here an' sit down let's talk I got alot to say so I guess I'll start by sayin that I love you but you know this thing ain't been a walk in the park (for us) I swear this will only take a minute you'll understand when I finish yeah and I don't want to see you cry but I don't want to be the one to tell u a lie so...

[Hook]
How do you let go? when you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it and
Everything I tried to remember to say
Just went out my head
So I'ma do the best I can to get you to understand
Cause I know!!

[Chorus]
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But I gotta make the first move
'Cause if I don't you gonna start hating me
'Cause I really don't feel the way I once felt about you
Girl it's not you, it's me
I gotta gotta figure out what I need oh
There's never a right time to say goodbye
But we know that we gotta go
Our separate ways
And I know it's hard but I gotta do it,
And it's killing me
Because there's never a right time
Right time to say goodbye

(Verse 2:)
Girl I know your heart is breaking
And a thousand times I
Found myself asking, "Why? Why?"
Why am I taking so long to say this?
But trust me, girl I never
Meant to crush your world
And I never
Thought I would see the day we'd grow apart
And I wanna know...

[Hook]
How do you let go? when you,
You just don't know? What's on,
The other side of the door
When you're walking out, talk about it
Girl I hope you understand
What I'm tryna say.
We just can't go on
Pretending that we get along
Girl how you not gonna see it?

Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
I, I just can't do it
Listen to your heart
Girl you know,
We should be apart, baby I
I just can't do it
And sometimes it makes me wanna cry
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh [2x]
Do you hear me crying?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

Dream a little dream of me....

2007-02-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

Somtimes I found myself having the urge to get married.

Not really coz I have found my true and trusted love. Nothing is so that certain I've come to realize with regards to this.

But more of a new source of excitement that I can divert my attention to as my life has now sort of reached a plateau and a standstill.

I wish to look fwd to choosing furnitures and designing a new home. Setting the right theme and ambience for my home just so sweet and loving for my loved one and myself. A place where I can seek comfort in everyday after work where I know there's always someone waiting to give me a hug at home.

Drinking wine and preparing simple dishes to cook and eat. Nice music to go with a slow dance and a peck on the cheek.

An impending wedding dinner for me to get busy with and a house warming invitation thereafter that I can prepare and get ready.

[Maybe I am just too bored and lonely at home sometimes to think of this. I wish my family members are around at home every day of the week. To say that I have accustomed to their absence is a fact yet it's not what I like and prefer if given a choice. When can things be like in the past as it is during childhood?]

For viewing pleasure

2007-01-19T23:58:00.000+08:00

Long time never post pics! In view of fierce competition from other bloggers in my links who are frequently posting pics on their blogs ( U guys know who u are esp the one who just come back from Aust! ;p), I better post some pics in my blog to save myself from declining readership.

Some pics from Berkelah trip in Dec:

My trekking khaki! Without her, I will have trouble finding company to go shit in the bush together or go wash our buttocks in the stream!

Many familiar faces from AMKSS rite?

So qiao rite, wear same color top somemore.

This is the "confidence jump" which I don't dare to jump. hahz. Actually wish to try one but can't bring myself to do it in the end. haa... The guy in the pic is Kia Haw and Fuchen from Amkss btw. Their jumping pose so funny lor. heha.

So animated pic larh. Dunno is real or act out one I havent ask.

Desserts spelt backwards

2007-01-15T22:03:00.000+08:00

My job is really not here to provide solution to ur problem. U may tell me ur problem, but if it's not within my boundary that I can help, there is really nothing I can do! You refuse to leave, telling me that you have nowhere to go. I am stuck with words cos I can't think of any solution to your problem which only you can think of how you want to solve it. You don't sit down there, wait for me to think of a solution for you cos I have tried my best by calling other agencies but to no avail. I can only do that much, given my job boundary. You cry uncontrollably infront of me whenever I bring up that particular suggestion that you are not open to. I reali can't do anything even if you cry cos there is no immediate solution to your problem. You make me so stressed that I feel like crying infront of you cos I don't know what to say and don't know what to do.....

This is again one of the days when I feel like screaming at the end of it.

What I left is only after-office hours that are peaceful enough for me to do my work without any interruption but more often than not, my brain will be half-dead by then.....

(dun worrie that I will pour out my clients' problems to you whenever I meet you guys. I surely don't want you guys to shun me in the future! haaa..... only my mum at home has to bear the nonsense that I am bombarding her every now and then which I am surprised that she seems to enjoy listening and even helping me think of solutions sometimes!)

Announcement to 2/4

2007-01-02T10:35:00.000+08:00

It's a new year!So happy new year to all!

So many holidays week after week....shiok!

But before I know it, its back to work once again tmr. Not that I dun like my work but the many case files waiting for me to settle them one by one can just be that nerve-wrecking which I bet my colleagues have the same sentiments as me.

A note here to AMKSS 2/4 ppl.
First of all, welcome Wee San to the land of Singapore!!

For you guys to know, my group will be meeting up this coming Friday nite for dinner after such a long time of absence from them....one back from Nepal, the other from Turkey, another back from Australia etc. Oh man why am I still doing here in Singapore when everyone else seems to be flying all over the world??!! Anyway I thought to just take the chance to meet up the rest of you ppl as well esp San who has just returned to Sg! It has been long since all of us meet. So if you guys are free, can we meet up this Friday nite? Hope to see all of u soon to catch up! Pls let me know if you can make it.

(Yang and Ling: pls update on the change of date or anything if Lala or u guys cannot make it, thanks)

Reflections

2006-12-26T14:38:00.000+08:00

When the year is ending and a new year coming, I just cant help but think of new changes that I would like to adopt and old habits that I would like to kick away for a fresh new year to start with.

Despite knowing that new year resolutions are practically useless, everyone of us should still spend some time reflecting back on our past and ponder on what changes we would like to make in the coming new year. Surely you don't want to remian stagnant in ur level of progress as each year goes by? It will be quite sad to know if you found urself being the same old you as you are back in JC times for example.

1. Work shouldnt be an excuse for me to indulge in overeating out of stress and less exercising out of tiredness (though they seem like very valid reasons to me most of the times!) The intake of food should be proportionate to the level of physical activity. The more you exercise, the more you can afford to eat. This is my theory. If I want to indulge sinfully on food and delicacies, then I better discipline myself to exercise more in order to cater to that form of luxury. I have not been keeping up with the exercise regime I hope to maintain outside my worklife. Its definitely not a good feeling for my mind and body at the end of the day. As such in the new year, I want to kick away the bad habit of snacking and eating too much when I am not exercising enough to compensate for that. I have the habit of snacking continuously when I am bored and feeling all down and guilty thereafter. No good!

2. I am always thinking about my work and clients during my free time like the follow-ups that I need to do etc. This has to stop. Time and work management is impt to me. I want to do every part of my work properly so that I do not need to allocate more time to do amendments thereafter. Beside reading casefiles and work-related stuff, I want to allocate time to cultivate a more regular reading habit cos I have been procrastinating and putting reading aside too many times. To say honestly, I am someone who have short attention span which I've realized over the years. Only having the need to go for exams can force me to read a certain thing. Very sad case rite. I don't have the patience to finish a novel and infact I've not read a proper storybook ever since the absence of literature subject in my curriculum (come to this, jenny, I realized I have not returned u the DA VINCI CODE ever since given up reading it long time ago). I wish I have loved reading more and infact, I should think that I am someone who will love reading but why am I not? Therefore, i want to adopt a more regular reading habit, be it newspaper or even magazines in the new year!!

3. I have always wanted to master my mother's cooking recipes as to be able to cook is definitely a great asset to one's own family in the future. It will be such great pity and desapir if I choose not to be inquisitive enough to impart some of my mum's cooking talent. I have been learning on and off which to me equates to insignificant input of knowledge that I should feel ashamed to confess. As such, I have bugged my mum to bug me into learning a new dish every mth during our free time. HA.

4.I want to be more proactive and eager about learning my own dialect. Hokkien! Sad to say I do not possess the environment to learn and speak Hokkien naturally although my parents are proficient in it. This language skill is crucial in my field of work bcos quite many of my clients are elderly and some only know dialect! I have been too laid back in picking up this language due to forgetfulness and procrastination. Being more proactive in things is what I hope to achieve in this new year to come.

Yes you may chide at me for sounding idealistic in what I hope to change as we all know that being said is easier than to be done but well, it doesnt hurt to have plans in one's head as a form of reminder to what one can possibly do. From psychology, it is said that publicly confess something can reaffirm one's commitment to it.

At least for now, the new year has not arrived yet and there is still time for me to sit back in my cache of old habits and wait for the auspicious strike of the new year to come and kick them away!

Snippets

2006-12-15T00:45:00.000+08:00

By observations around me
I realize it doesnt take much for some ppl to be happy.
No need a big or havoc occassion to be.
Just simple things to smile and laugh heartily.
Indeed, life should be like this.
Why do I fail to practise?

Sometimes I still feel like a kid.
Like I'm being forced to grow up
When I am not even ready.
To face the public and talk like an adult.
When all along I'm actually just pretending to be.

To me, its a beautiful love story.
If things can go smoothly till the end of it.
Tracing back the initial moments when I first notice him
To the later part when he starts to notice me.
All these snippets of memories
I darent recall so clearly.
Incase it's what I want to forget ultimately.

Bread and butter issue

2006-12-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think I will go blind one day, given the amt of hours I spent staring at the computer during work, plus the number of extra hours I stayed back after work to finish my reports.

Despite the upclose personal part of my work that allows direct contact with ppl from the lower strata of the society, there is alot of nitty gritty and bulky admin work that I need to do thereafter in order to close a case. Then we need to do follow up to keep track of our old clients to ensure that they reach self-reliance at the end of it. So many things to do yet so limited time and resources I have.

Will be going for 3 days trekking trip to Berkelah on the 11th Dec. Hope wun rain man, scared slippery! Need me to get any souvenirs for you guys? Spring water, pebbles or a lump of soil?

Sometimes i really think I have an obsession with bread. I can't help wanting to eat bread every time when I feel hungry or feel like munching things. Whenever I can't think of anything to eat during meal time, the only thing that comes to my mind is bread and buns. It's no wonder if one day I ballooned just like a dough in the oven if I let myself loose on the consumption of bakery stuff.

Accountability!!

2006-11-16T23:03:00.000+08:00

I am so stressed, even more so after encountering difficult ppl today!!!
AAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Just let me scream!!!

The most untolerable aspect of this job is clients who dont want to help themselves but waiting for us to do things for them!!
Sometimes their attitude really explain why they keep getting themselves trapped in their poverty cycle, not that I want to say.

There is so much I want to do for some of the genuine cases, yet so little that I can offer, given the amt of cases that I am handling.

Today I almost go to the extent of taking out my own money to give to one client bcos she refused to leave!! Keep whining and crying and attempting to suicide.

I am drained out today, my mind was tight and heavy at the end of it.

I am even going back to office out of my own accord this sat to meet my clients and to clear some backlogs. Poor me.

Office romance not allowed

2006-11-11T02:22:00.000+08:00

It's funny that he has been sending me sms everday since the break of camp even though we are working in the same office. At first I thought that he just wants to be nice and and friendly to me being a new staff in the office. Not to mention that he pops by every corner of the office to make small talks with every other ppl which include me. Nothing surprising. I thought he is just being friendly.

Camp mates ever ask me what I think of him during camp. I said very nice guy and full stop. This is purely the impression I get. Nothing more to say. Infact, he has many other good qualities in his personality which I cannot deny. But that doesnt mean I should like him just bcos he is good. There is no formula for such.

It is until he drop me a sms to say a piece of his mind which scares me abit to know. A short, simple and direct statement that appears to state it all. I was taken aback that I rather he not say it and I not know it. But I was able to see him and talk to him as usual the very next day mayb bcos we both were able to act as though nothing has happened and most imptly, I dun feel anything special twds him except as a potentially good fren in the future.

Realize

2006-11-04T23:28:00.000+08:00

I can undstd why time will pass faster once one starts working bcos every week we awaits for the weekend to come. With anticipation of the weekend plus the busyness of work, it is inevitable that the weekdays pass as fast as we wish it to be. Thus it is to no amazement that we can grow older faster than we realize.

Time and money to me feels like a pie chart now. I have to ration and divide proportionately among my old friends, new friends, colleagues, work, leisure and exercise. Less time for myself. It's indeed a big challenge to embrace the new and to maintain the old. Now that I am working and receiving a monthly income, I feel so glad that I can finally and officially make financial contribution to my family le! I always hope that my entry to work can help to lessen my dad's burden. It's funny to hear from my dad's comment that I am the new ATM machine at home now! haha.

When old staff teaches new staff something, its hard for for the former to imagine what the latter dunno bcos they have forgotten what its like to be new when they are already so familiar with it. This applies to teachers in school as well. A teacher is good if he is able to teach in an unassuming way such that he can explain what he can understand from the student's perspective.

When entering a new setting, it is important to smile wherever you go. Talk even when its NOT necessary. If thats not your nature, make an effort to do so. Set reminders if you need to. ;p

Subdued

2006-10-28T14:30:00.000+08:00

As you have observed, I will try to update my blog once a week now since on weekdays, I will be too tired to do anything with the computer upon reaching home after work.

Will be going for staff retreat next mon and tues. Hope it will be an enjoyable getaway experience with other colleagues in the office. I guess life will be more eventful in the future with more upcoming ad-hoc duties and events that will be scheduled along the way.

Everywhere I go now, be it in camp or workplace, I am always the youngest and therefore feeling very inexperienced and small in the presence of others. I shall remember how I feel now and note the changes along the way as time goes. Cos I wonder when I can reach the stage when I no longer will feel this way but instead, feel empowered and being capable to guide and lead others. Now in every setting, I am always the one listening and following ppl which actually I dont enjoy very much. Sometimes I wonder is it bcos I am not given opportunities to prove what I may be able to do OR should I just be relieved that I am better off not given the oppt cos at the end of the day, I might just realized I do not have the ability to do so? haiz...

Recently received new case files of my own but have not really started anything with my clients yet cos still waiting for them to call me to book appointment for office interviews after sending out letters. So you can imagine me staring at the phone for it to ring these days. haa. Cant wait to have a hands-on experience with my own clients to have the real taste of what my work will be like man.

Dint get to meet and catch up with some of you since the last time we met. Hope you guys are fine? Exams are coming soon i guess, work hard ok and hope to meet up one day to chill out or something. All the best for now. Keep in touch.

Work and stuff...

2006-10-21T18:50:00.000+08:00

This week went to a client's house with colleague. The guy suffer from some skin problem, the skin peel all over his house, got open wounds on his skin too. Then his house got some smell due to poor hygiene. I felt uncomfortable uppn entering his house bcos of the sight of his skin problem, hygiene status of his home and the most unavoidable stench lingering in the house. He has IMH record of social withdrawal and poverty of speech which makes me want to be aware that I cannot harbour any feeling of discrimination and disgust towards him. But I find him quite cute in the end after some conversation with him...but still find him very ke lian given his skin condition.

Don't know what kind of cases will be passed to me to handle man. Scared they see I major in Psychology then will pass me all the psychiatric clients cos I think that is what happened to my colleague. Oh manz. Such clients very hard to handle bcos the information they give might be inaccurate and therefore make it very hard for us to assess their situation. Best is to handle straightfoward case when client is single, poor and old. Worst is to get complicated family case where got alot of things to clarify and deal with.

By the way, my job title is senior community development officer if you guys not yet know what I am doing. Basically, we assess clients' eligibility in meeting up the criteria we have for our social assistance schemes. Though we have some guidelines to fall back on, alot of times the conclusion of a case depends on the officer who is handling it. Some colleagues very strict, very fast close case if never receive the documents needed.... then their performance rating will be quite good lor as they able to finish closing their cases within the stipulated time frame. Quantity seems more impt than quality in this job it seems, from what I see.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Its a pity that only now den he showed interest in getting back with me. I waited during the first few weeks for that to happen but it never came. Since then, I have moved on and gotten myself readjusted to a carefree life on my own already. Days when I no longer have to prioritize my free days to him anymore, no obligations to follow and no need the extra effort made to consider about another person's thoughts and feelings like before...

If only we have been motivated enough to improve things there and then and avoided the breakup altogether, it would have been better than now to be picking up the bits and pieces all over again... which I am not ready for.

Honeymoon period

2006-10-14T00:59:00.000+08:00

Yar the first 2 weeks at work for me is no serious work yet. As much as I am looking forward to handling the cases on my own very soon, I can't imagine how I will be coping then, given the loads of information and knowledge that I need to absorb during the meanwhile. Really alot man. So challenging. So frens, u all studying, I also like studying rite now. Sama sama! Same boat!

Have been tagging along with colleague to go for home visits to see how interviews are done. A really close-up interaction with members at the lower strata of the society. Elderly ppl are really sad case. Hard to get money from children, on the other hand hard to get money from the us (govt) cos we have strict criteria to meet up in order for us to give social assistance. We promote self-reliance and believe that the first level of support is the family and not the govt. Our clients tend to see us as the 'saviours' who can bring them out of their poverty cycle but in actual fact, we have little power in granting them social assistance as supervisor need to approve our recommendations in the end. Not up to us to decide. We are the 'investigators' who explores and dig out information that are needed for us to assess their eligibility for our social assistance schemes. We also act like social workers who need to be involed in other miscellaneous stuff related to our clients as well.

Can forsee my future days to be real busy from what I see from my colleagues. They stayed back, even coming on saturdays to write reports and stuff. Not enough staff to handle the number of cases we are receiving every now and then. They seem overloaded with so many cases and follow-ups to do. I hope my entry can help to unload some of their burdens man. But right now I still feel un-equipped....yet they still keep telling me to enjoy my honeymoon first. I wanna learn as much as I can now so that when real work starts, I can get into the right gear straight away la.

My mum says poor ppl have endless stories to tell as poverty branches out from all kinds of unique circumstances. As for the rich ppl, they only have one happy story to tell.

All-in-1 except 1

2006-10-11T21:25:00.000+08:00

Our most impt leader in the camp wasnt in the pic. He took these individual pics, made this wallpaper yet dint include himself. haiyo...

(phil, can guess which one is the nu qiang ren that I told u abt?)

Back from NACLI.

2006-10-08T12:23:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will be the start of my work. Excited and nervous at the same time, which is what many of my campmates are feeling too.

Met quite nice ppl from the camp esp my 2 room mates. Every nite back to our room after our respective group project discussion, we will share our woes, complaints and stuff. The last nite in the chalet, we gossip like hell till 5 am after returning from a late ktv outing at marina square. haha...

The camp is pretty much like a student's camp we had back in school days. Got games to play, outdoor cooking, lectures etc. Even got scandals here and there! In a year's time, I will get to attend a 3 days 2 nites OBS camp! can U believe it? haha....OBS is under PA as well, so its part of an enrichment program for all PA staff. Good for me as I am one who will never get selected to go for such camp in my school days. So getting the chance to attend such challenging camp is a privilege for me! Quite excited abt it.

A new beginning shall start from this moment. Finally.

Weekend break

2006-09-30T11:35:00.000+08:00

Finally back to the comfort of my home!!! Next week 5 days camp to go!! AAhhhhh......

Probably too many nitty gritty details that I can say abt the camp which I will not say here. Got alot of talks throughout the camp to tell us the many divisions of PA, the functions and roles blah blah blah which I usually switch off midway. Dun like to listen to wat the goals and wat core values of the association larh. So idealistic. At the end of day, its just about putting in your best to whatever you are required to do, and if better, do more if you can!

Besides that, got team building games which I enjoy more. Kayaking at sea sports club too which is quite tiring but pretty enjoyable. But next week quite scary leh, heard one outdoor activity need to hold on to a rope and swing to another end and drop urself onto a platform one. If dun drop correctly, will fall into a pond. eeeekk....dunno can or not leh. Then every nite got project discussion as by the end of the camp, will need to present to a group of directors man. Aiya they are just making use of us to churn out new ideas to implement in the organization lar. dumb.

A fren asked me any cute guys around. Well 30 ppl in total. Around 12 guys here. Pretty good mix rite. Mostly in the 20s with some exceptions. So a pretty much young group lor. hmm... my definition of 'cute' is different from how some others use to desribe cute guys lar. It is not based on a physical attribute but come from within. Like I find one guy cute bcos he speaks in a very hokkien style, always laughing from ear to ear and very easygoing. He dun have to try to crack jokes and the way he speaks alr very funny. hahaa

Being in a camp, you have to socialize every minute of the day. Easy for you if you are an extrovert. For me, if i am tired or moody, I dun bother to socialize unless u urself come forward to talk to me. I feel that within girls, a certain sense of hostility can occur once impression is set. If you feel that you cannot click with this person, you will find urself avoiding or not taking the initiative to talk more to the person after that. I dunno whether some of you know what I mean. Thats why they always say that girls have a hard time working under a female superior cos there is this sense of hostility brewing in the same-gender relationship. This does not occur between a girl and a boy. Bcos of the innate difference between the two genders, there is a form of attraction that spark off naturally regardless of the initial impression formed. Its like 'I may not like you but bcos you are a different gender, I am curious and want to know more about you'. This then triggers further interaction. It is also of the fact that guys feel the need to take charge so they will take initiative to strike a conversation with you. Such dynamics does not frequently occur among girls. Funny. Then among boys, it seems different again. Guys bcum 'brothers' easily after sing song talk cock. There is less of bitching around as compared to girls. U know what I mean?

Alrite enough of that.....i am tired of typing la. Want to treasure this weekend fully b4 going thru another 5 days of camp once again..... Gambateh!

Little here and there...

2006-09-23T17:14:00.000+08:00

Though its only the 2nd lesson of Salsa beginner's class that I have attended, I think I am liking it and can't wait to learn more of the fanciful moves soon! Yar currently taking up a beginner's class after being asked to join together with a fren. I now feel glad that he has asked me if not it will be dunno until when I will be going to take up this dance which I have been so curious about all along. Now I am already thinking what is going to be next after the 5 lessons that would be finished in a few weeks time. I really hope to continue.

Hope to take up any other dance classes like Jazz, Hip hop or exotic dance in the future. So pls ask me along for any of such if you need company to learn together! I tink dance is a source of good workout and entertainment for the self. I wish I have been more serious in taking up dancing when I am younger. But I still think its never too late to learn anything that you want. Remember that for every moment that you are hesitating, time is ticking away! So pls dun pause and consider any longer, frens! Rem someone telling me this: For things that you can do it today, why wait until tomorrow to do? Do it now! Feel the urgency of time. Nothing is ever too late or early to start!

Hmm...anyway just to inform, will be going for an induction camp for my work for the coming two weeks but will be back home in the weekends. Funny rite? Got orientation camp for work somemore. So off. haha. Hope to meet some nice ppl around esp new ppl who will be working in the same branch as me man. Nonetheless, feeling abit sian to be away for so many days with dunno how many other strangers. Cannot command the usage of my own time, waking up early, the amt of clothes to bring, cannot go swimming with my frens in the morning from den + other unspoken rules and obligations. lalalaaa.....aiyaah watever larh...anyway my motto for life now is to embrace whatever that is coming my way. Keeping an open mind!

You guys take care and hang on to whatever you are doing ok?

Here without you

2006-09-18T17:17:00.000+08:00

Issit the physical affection, the sense of belonging, the need to be wanted and loved by someone special that we both are missing about?

If the feeling does not come from truly wanting to be with the person and no one else, I rather not go back to where we begin...

Bcos any other person can well fulfill those basic needs that you and I are looking for....it's only a matter of time and patience to wait for this other person to come along our way.

It hurts to be a rational thinker when I have to separate the components of love just for the fear that history can repeat itself...

It's so easy for us to get back together but is that what we really want?

Frienship lasts longer than love....

though the form of happiness can never be the same again.

Am I yearning for you or simply the feeling to be loved?

(A penny for your thoughts too, yokie. )

"Quotes of the day"

2006-09-14T13:08:00.000+08:00

Upon telling a new fren that my sis is working as a model, her immediate reaction is classic:

"What happened to you????" - with big shocking eyes and wide gaping mouth that refuses to shut.
(oh pls... save that exaggerated look, wat do u want me to answer? gene defect...possibly??)

That led me to recall someone telling me this recently-
"Hmm...your mum and dad looks quite good looking actually, not bad....and its obvious that all the good genes get passed to ur sis."
(Hey phil, thanks leh.)

Not to mention someone ever asking me whether I do feel inferior in comparison to my modelling sis?
(ohhh..no one reminded me to!!!! darn.)

Then I rem a gal fren telling me this-
"Hey you look nice in skirts.......(oh reali?)...yeahz.... bcos ur legs are not thin."
(wwwwaaiitt....are you complimenting me or wattt??!!)

Luckily in life, there will always be some kind souls sticking by and saying nice things like-
"Actually I like your features more than your sis...you are one pretty gal already! "
(AAAwwwww.......)

Suddenly, the dark gloomy clouds seems to show a gleam of bright light....hinting to me that life is not that unfair after all.

I laugh to myself and life goes on...

Snap it!

2006-09-11T22:35:00.000+08:00

Nothing to blog about recently so will just post 2 pics that I have taken in MOS few weeks back for u all to see. Just received the pics from Huimin and this got me excited all over again. hahaz.

If you have watched Superband, u shld be able to recognize who the guys in the pic are. Quite blur pics though.

They are cute! Pretty boys.

With Yokie and her friends.

The clearest photo of all bcos not taken by us...by those hired photographers from some company websites.

Stuck

2006-09-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can't seem to find a way
To leave the love behind

I ain't trippin
I'm just missing
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging on a string
Why you make me cry
I try to give you everything
But you just gave me lies

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I'll be wishing you will call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do..
I'm such a fool
For you

[Chorus:]
I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My hearts still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could be for
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you [last time x2]
It's true
I'm stuck on you

My love's a broken record that's
Been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we've got to play these games we play?

(Sung by Stacie Orrico)

Unpredictable

2006-09-04T23:02:00.000+08:00

Steve Irwin has unfortunately passed away. The famous crocodile hunter cum wildlife explorer. Attacked by a stingray right in his chest.

The world needs more ppl like him and now there is one less of him.........

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh....felt such deep sense of pity and sadness after knowing this news.
He is such a great man who has enormous enthusiasm and spirit for his interest in wild animals. Yet this has to happen.....if animals have humanistic instincts, they would have loved him and not hurt him.

Pls take care of yourselves, friends! Don't want anything to happen to you all!!

Catharsis

2006-09-02T12:23:00.000+08:00

Ppl who write blogs are narcissistic. I am one too. It's the outlet where I can get some attention from everyone to me alone. It is the place where I can say certain things which otherwise I dun get to share in normal circumstances.

Even without reaching the end of this year, I can truthfully declare my best song of the year is "Because of you" by Kelly Clarkson. I don't believe any other song can replace this climatic one in the next few mths to come, at least in my heart. I am sure some of you might agree with me too. I simply love songs that have climax which can make your heart cringe and make you want to sing loudly together with it. In my words, songs that can give you 'orgasm' is good.

Singing is a perfect source of outlet to outwardly express one's pent up emotions. I just wish I have a much better and nicer voice. Infact, any other musical instruments have the ability to achieve that. Even drama acting too.

It's a form of catharsis. Just like writing blogs.

Pls don't see me as one pathetic soul having so much pent up emotions that I wish to release. I may sound like I am but more often than not, I manage to be a rational thinker who don't self-indulge in own misery, if any.

lame quiz

2006-09-01T00:27:00.000+08:00

Love is most important in your life.

A high love concentration indicates that you want love in your life. It is very important to you and something that you strive to attain.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Yes I am as boliao as San to go take such quiz during my lazy times and here is my result which differs very much from hers.

Aiya....the reason why my family proportion so low is bcos those qns pertaining to me not that relevant since my relatives dun reali live near to me so that prob explains the low percentage value.

In a long term perspective, I should think that career is the most impt to me since most part of one's life is dedicated to your work so its impt that u are able to cultivate an interest in ur job!

I wouldnt dare to say love is impt to me anymore after the recent letdown.

Pics and all

2006-08-30T22:52:00.000+08:00

I quite like this blogskin so dun think will change for now though with this slightly new blog add that I have changed to.

As requested by phil, shall upload those pics that we took recently. Are you all able to save it from my blog or not huh? dun think so rite?? how to make it available for u all to save directly from my blog huh? tell me leh. I use photobucket to upload one so think cannot rite.

Yet another farewell to Jingya. Looking fwd to your return already, girl!

Phil with his chao beng look and JY with her seemingly teary eye.

I simply love the matching outfit of yokie and phil! Good job, guys! heheee

JY with her red hot cheeks simply after just one small glass of dunno what white russian drink that she ordered. Oh manz...

The boy behind me is simply deliciously cute.

Embrace

2006-08-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

Yea. Can't wait for my work to start so as to get into the real mood of my new phase of life. Don't like to be dangling here and there, waiting for things to happen. Ya i have been offered a job after all the waiting time and interviews and dilemmas that i have undergone. Prob will talk more abt my job when i realli got started on my work in around a few weeks' time. So excited and apprehensive at the same time man.

For right now, dun realli miss school at all. instead feel relieved that i dun have to get involved in those bidding rounds and the purchasing of textbooks and doing tutorials. haha. well u guys hang on yar? u will reach the stage i am at very soon lar. so endure man!! work hard, enjoy and have fun lar then u wun feel that u are suffering alone.

wonder what i will do for the next few weeks man. definitely wanna brush up my hokkien which i dun reali know how to go about mastering it proficiently bcos i dun have the envt to learn it naturally. sad case. yar i want to master it well so that i can better cope with my job duties. hmm...will be going out with some frens whom i promise to meet up with too. haiz....but money wise i reali have to take note too cos will be living the next 2 mths on the last pay that I have gotten which is gonna be insufficient lar. sianz....money money money. if only they grow on trees....wahaha..

anyway can reali feel the presence and existence of frens who have met up with me to catch up and stuff these days. they are really there! haha. not invisible. thanks lovely ppl! neva reali felt this way in the past....oppss...hehe

after got a job, can then plan properly on the lifestyle that i want to lead. def wan to take some fitness classes to keep myself active or relevant lessons that are useful to my work or life. reali hope i will have the motivation den. dun wanna end up a routine lifestyle in the end.

yea. will keep an open mind now to everything that is going to come my way! Same to u ppl!!!

Life is really a gift!!

the game of love....

2006-08-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

its not fun at all. its bittersweet.

i can never understand why some ppl can go play for so many times.

it can get you so high for one moment, and get you so down on the other.

indeed, theres a price to pay for this game. if u are not willing to pay to sacrifice ur personal freedom sufficiently, u lose the game totally.

it was game over for me in shorter time period than i ve expected. the only comfort is that at least i tried...

i kept thinking whether the cause of it was that i was an incompetent player but i was told that problem usually dun just lie solely on one.

like wat many have told me, playing once will make you a better and stronger player for the next new game to come... i believe in that and will be working twds this goal.

i told myself that for my next game, i will try to give my best to make it work out strong so that i will not need to experience another gameover anymore.

i now understd why some ppl like to play this game for just once in their whole life rather than trying a few. Cos each gameover is heartbreaking, painful and saddening.

during certain time of the game, i had my insecurities and uncertainties but never got enough clarifications or reassurance that can help to appease that. all i gotten was lukewarm responses and indecisiveness that make me feel even more disheartened.......

i waited for a twist in the fate of the game but it never gives me renewed confidence to move on. instead, it continues to reaffirm that most of my negative assumptions were right after all, given the action and attitude of the game...

i came to realize that there was in actual fact no strong intention from him to want to offer any form of reassurance to comfort my doubts which i have come to rationalize the possibility that something is wrong...

i learnt the ugly truth which actuali hurts me very much deep down. though it sets me thinking the whole night, it is what motivates me to want to be a stronger and better person...

believe me, i really dont wish for the game to end so soon but the process of playing just makes me feel that the most important element that i thot was present all along was losing its strength after all. i can feel it and it affected me. i want reassurance but it never came.

i found the courage to let go of this promising game by holding on to the belief that a much deserving player someday will replace me to play an even more exciting game with him while i shall seek for my new form of happiness all over again...

we took the easiest way out not knowing how to resolve the issues we faced. though it looks like its a mutual agreement, in my opinion, i feel more like its a one-sided wish .

some say we prob are still not mature enough to handle differences which are bound to exist in any relationship. the level of maturity wasn't sufficient enough. if so, wat a shame.

or maybe in today's society, there are just too many choices and temptations that are luring us from our comfort zone to explore the new and the fun out there...if it is, den so be it.

my mum think the cause is due to the former...i thot its more to the latter from what i see...talk abt faithfulness....its bullshit. humans are just so greedy and selfish by nature. i feel like telling ppl esp those with X and Y chromosomes in ur genes: if you think you are one who will be easily attracted to the oppt sex in the process of making new frens, den you had beta restrained yourself from getting a partner in the first place!!!!! it must never work the other way round whereby you got a partner and restrain urself from making new frens of the oppt sex bcos subconsciously you are afraid that you might be unfaithful when the situation arises!!!

nearing breakup, couples tend to focus on recalling evidences from the past to support their case and this further continues after breakup to make oneself feel that the decision is indeed a right one. happy memories now only serve to hurt and thus will be erased...

building back my self esteem to regain myself back in full force... no more hard feelings. scold me if you want...

motivated to work twds a better and happier me for the next phase of life to come!

to all my attached frens: must persevere in ur relationship as long as there is still love between the both of you!

to all my single frens: Kambateh! i really hope to see you guys having found your true love before i do! that is enough to make me feel blissful alredi, reallly!!!!

love is still in the air!

Support!

2006-08-16T22:57:00.000+08:00

Pls buy the latest issue of NewMan Magazine for a simple reason that my sis is on the cover page!!
Yeah check her out at the newstand and buy one lor! Put her page on your cabinet door or something!

If you happen to get hold of the latest issue of DUET by SDU, my sis is on the cover page too!

Happy viewing!

[a cautionary note: dont bother to try to spot any resemblance between my sis and me, it wld only cause you great disturbance. thanks. ]

New phase

2006-08-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

Never did I know effective communication can be so hard to achieve. To think that I have always thought speaking one's mind is easy. It's really not.

No two persons are similar. We each have our differences. But exactly how much differences is just too much to take?

To give up or to persevere? Let him go and each to his own?

We live for ourselves. But for the most of it, we are actaully living to the expectations of others. Others...him...they....

Should i wait for a possible 2nd job offer or just accept the first? Forgo the first, I may just lose the 2nd. Sometimes, timing can just be so cruel to us.

If only life is really just live to eat...

I hate making decisions like that.
Cos I dunno whats best for the two of us.
I dunno whats best for me.
I dun wish to think.
Dun wish to decide.

I have always hoped that there is such a logical thinking computer system that can help ppl to weigh issues and decide for them the better route to take for the best outcome. But there again, is there such a thing as the best outcome?

Office no-politics

2006-08-10T15:11:00.000+08:00

After being requested to stay week after week by my boss bcos of some delay of hiring a perm staff, I have been here for near to 2 mths as compared to the initial thought that I will only be here for a few days to a few weeks then 1 mth then until now. What an irony.

I am lucky to having met some nice people here who brighten up my otherwise antisocial life in my enclosed office cubicle. Thanks to the opportunity that people from other departments need to come find me to get corporate gifts and borrow camera that I got to know that there are actually many other humans in the different departments of this company. hhaaa..

Among them, I oso get to know the existence of other temp staff and subsequently become lunching partners with. With them around, I get to have ppl dropping by my cubicle to chat with me once awhile, go pantry for milo, eat Hello Panda biscuits and even drop email to go toilet together! For once, that playful colleague even drops a mysterious note on my table while I am not around to ask me to guess who she is! Then there is this super friendly colleague who cant wait to lunch with me someday so as to -know more about me- in conquest of some -secret mission- of hers. Among other perm staff, there is one kind colleague who even introduced me to websites that she thought I would be interested to apply jobs from. And for that, I recently got a job interview and offer after applying with that organization. Thanks to her recommendation man. Probably might talk more about my job searching process next time round or something... Den not to forget one who intro me to web-based messenger that I can use to chat during work. Win already lor..

Thats why I say that if not for all these human interaction that I get to enjoy during my office days, I think my office life would be dead boring for me, with that kind of -workload- that I am under. Literally bored to the death of me. Thanks goodness. Tomorrow should be officially my last day if there is no further changes to be expected.

Thanks to Jenny as well who was my occasional lunch partner from time to time but seldom now bcos its either she got company lunch or I already agreed to lunch with my colleagues nowadays, and shiying for that two to three times that we managed to meet up with too. haha

Contradictory

2006-07-31T14:27:00.000+08:00

To be paid well isnt really my main concern for my first few years of work, given my choice to work in the social services sector where I should already be expected to get a not-that-fantastic pay plus having to work in the weekends if I am working in voluntary welfare organizations.

However I do not wish to be exploited of my time and labour that is not compatible with my pay. For god's sake, dont tell me about passion and the desire to help the needys that one should be all willing to give more than one should. My time doesn't belong to public's use. Charity starts from home. The least that I can do is to first provide available resources to help myself and my family to be self-sufficient and not needed to be dependent on the govt or the social services for financial assistance thereafter. Plus there is always this order of charity. Like my mum always say, if every person in the society can learn just to take care of themselves first, societal problems would be so greatly reduced.

Dun be mistaken. i ve not started work yet. Just wanna be psychologically equipped for whatever it takes to be in my desired kind of work if I were to be recruited.

I am really no fussy inflexible person who cant take hard chores. I merely appreciate BALANCE in life which I dun see as too much to ask for.

ps: oh man i am so bored in my temp office, just told to extend my stay here when I feel like asking back, ' y on earth do you wan to employ me for sitting down at the desk, surfing net and writing blog? Are you doing me charity?'

Don't die pls...

2006-07-24T14:06:00.000+08:00

My pc is suffering from fever and now cancer. Not long before, it was experiencing internet connection failure due to some human error committed by an internet service provider which I don't think I want to elaborate here incase I get sued for defamatory acts or something.

After sending it to a computer clinic, it has been diagnosed that the fan in the system unit is spoilt, causing the capacitors in the motherboard to leak some metallic liquids, plus potentially the CPU to get burnt also. Darn...what luck.

So to get it repaired, the estimated cost can amount to $500+ if I going to add RAM, get a new motherboard, a fan plus CPU to replace those 'cancerous' parts.

Oh god...Poor PC!!! A major surgery has got to be done to revive you back to life! I wish I had bought you a medical insurance. Arrgghh....

Luckily I do not need to bid for modules now since I have alr graduated if not I will definitely be cursinig and swearing on my bad luck to have my pc in such terrible state during such crucial times.

To comfort me further would be at least that I have my sis' laptop and my office's pc to tide me down for any online thingy that I need at the moment. So still not bad larh...haiz...

But what shitty chance I am landing myself in now that all those computer jargons and knowledge that I have picked up in an introductory module from computing last sem is gonna put to good practical use now that I have to find out more about the prices and different types of the parts that I am going to purchase from computer outlets during this period, (with the help of Yappy of cos).

My 'computer fluency' (as promised by the module's objective) is gonna come in handy now....aahh....

Special update

2006-07-17T11:52:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps,

I have a new hotmail account! ( duh...as if this is anything great to announce)

Well it is for good reasons that it is being created.

You know hotmail accounts get flooded by unknown sources and spam mails over time and thus it's always good to start afresh every after some years.

Plus, there is even a better reason to change it after every 4 years which I have been doing since 1998.

From cernyfan in 1998 to casillas02 in 2002, this year I am going to change it to cannavar06 in 2006. ( the 0 is number zero)

For seemingly smart alecks out there, you might have guessed correctly that those names are adopted from the names of the footballers in the Worldcup. This is a tradition that I would like to continue in remembrance of each of the season that has kept me something to look forward to amidst mundane routines.

Why those particular footballers among so many others, you might ask? Well they are 'carefully' picked and scrutinized based on some of the unique qualities they possess, which a bulk of them point to their good looks which I am ashamed to admit. heh

Well of cos not wanting to appear as superficial as what stereotypes like to point to girls watching football, I obviously choose them also bcos of their...... nice unique names as well. :>

Ok I think I better stop elaborating on this before some female football fanatics start to bash me up on that.

Nonetheless it is always nice to end this with just a quick note on my new found pick of this Fifa worldcup season- Fabio Cannavaro of the Azzurri team (Italy):

Known to be one of the best central defenders around and also the captain of the team, he is a good reader of the game and has proven himself to be an aggressive and fast player on field.

Despite his height vertically challenged as compared to other players, he exudes confidence when he runs and is widely recognized for his defensive techniques that seldom having to lead to foul.

Here he is:

PS: Do applaud me for my ability to extract time from my office hours to update my blog. I am certainly good at multi-tasking! ( or am i just too free?)

Do try to email me at this newest email address in the future pls! Thanks!

(Happy Birthday Shuwei!!!)

The best candid photo

2006-07-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

This photo is classic I must show it man. It looks like an impending disaster is inevitable for all in the KTV room except one who looks like she has it all planned out, given her witchy grin.

For a moment I wondered what happened during that time when this photo was taken. Issit that Kenny dropped the wall phone or something? If so, its really a shame for us to produce such exaggerated expression man...but no leh I rem he was the one taking the photo for us wat.

And yea like I said, Phil and JY look kinda alike with the same shape of that tilted mouth and big eyes, dun u think?

The inevitable...

2006-07-10T17:19:00.000+08:00

To me, its very important for a movie/show to have some sort of a proper ending rather than a tail for you to run your imagination wild. I dont like to imagine and speculate on the endless possibilities. I want to know what really happened in the end. I need a resolution to something that I have seen.

I also dont like to watch shows with sad endings that have the ability to leave you all down and dreary after leaving the cinema hall. It is equivalent to receiving no resolution to the movie/show.

Why are humans made to meet and part ultimately? It seems like being brought into this world with emotions and feelings isnt very much a privileged gift after all. Attachment theory denotes the importance of emotional and physical attachment that a baby needs once he is born into this world. Yet the stark fact is that this very attachment is going to be the cause of one s own misery and sorrow thereafter when the inevitable comes.

Treasure the moment. If the moment promises to stay while I am treasuring it, I will embrace it wholeheartedly. Very often, my moments of happiness bring along some awareness that these moments wont last as changes along the way will only serve to disrupt it.

Put no brake to your search for new happiness to replace the old. I guess this is the only way to keep one moving on.

Temporary migration (not me la..)

2006-07-06T16:38:00.000+08:00

Yiling is leaving on sat night for Australia to study for a year, as part of her scholarship course. Think a couple of us will be sending her off at the airport on sat nite around 9. If any of you can make it, pls do come along to give her a farewell wish.

Shiying was saying to go Australia tog this year end to visit both yiling and san together! Woah...sounds exciting but guess few can confirm at such an early stage when current things are still pretty much uncertain, esp for those who have graduated. I dunno too so we shall see den. Fingers crossed.

Hmm…I think my group is going to miss her presence for our favourite routine game of Bridge played everytime during our mini gathering. Esp for stella, she is gonna dream of the scoldings given by yiling to her each time she failed to accumulate enough sets of cards for yiling if she were to be her partner. And for us her big staring eyes and high pitch voice each time we 'eat' her BIG cards during the game. Oopps...hahazz…I beta not say more incase she scold me in my blog. ;p

(anyway shupei, really must thank u for patiently teaching us this game some years ago at chalet which now have allowed us 2/4 ppl to play with each other anytime we meet at anywhere...so addictive leh)

Yiling, Bon Voyage! Anything just go bother San lar. Ask her cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for you lor, so easy. Don't put her culinary skills to waste mah rite, san? ;p

Hope you can come back during next New Year time and we can den play Bridge again! Hahaz...

Keep in touch and take good care over there.

Closure....coming to an end.

2006-06-29T15:49:00.000+08:00

The next morning, we proceed to Ekkamai bus terminal (eastern) by sky train to take bus to Pattaya. Yes we are greedy to squeeze this into our alr tight itinerary.
Bangkok doesnt have a beach and we don't wish to shop whole day so there we go.

Yappy was selfish not to let me carry my backpack as he say I look ugly carrying that so insisted to carry for me for some parts of the journey. Here he is with my backpack and his sling bag:

Very selfish rite....dun let me carry. Make me feel like a useless vase. lalalalaa.....

When we reach the Ekkamai bus terminal, a bus officer was hurrying us to get up a bus which is said to be on its way to Pattaya. We asked about the ticket price (100 baht) which is the same as what we have researched so we thought it was the correct one and even thot that we are lucky to catch this scheduled bus so easily without much delay.

This is the ultra long bus ticket which we have paid for on the bus.

But somehow we feel weird cos it was too sudden and the bus consists of only a few of us. From what I researched, it is supposed to be buying ticket with seat number from a counter instead of just getting up the bus and paying for the tix in this manner. Weird, but we shall see.

This bus ended up stopping at many bus stops to pick up passengers. After like 2 hrs which is supposed to be the average duration of time to reach Pattaya from BKK, we are still in the bus, wondering whether we have reached Pattaya area or not. It ended up to be a 4 hrs bus journey to reach an out of nowhere roadside in Central Pattaya instead of a proper bus terminal in North Pattaya !

Arrgghh, wat a waste of time cos our hotel that we have booked is in North Pattaya. We felt cheated and bewildered with this bus that we have taken and sighed in dismay. Why are we landed here instead of the bus terminal? Whatever it is, time is running out! We only have one day in Pattaya! Hurry!

We took songthew ( truck taxi) at 150 baht to our hotel despite some bargain cos the driver say our destination is glai mark mark ( very far) from our location bcos of the 1-way streets and since there is only the 2 of us. No choice la. No energy to bargain or ask another driver le after that irritatingly long bus journey also.

We reach Sunshine vista serviced apartment finally at 4pm. A nice lobby. Our so far most decent and plesant looking hotel, with buffet breakfast too. S$47 per night for twin room.

Without much delay cos it was alr 4+ pm then, we hurried to the beach within 10 min walking distance. The most distinct characteristic is the long stretch of chairs laid out along the beach. Sea was not fantastically beautiful bcos of some pollution. Expected from hearsay.

We were then apporached by a guy who is renting jetski. After again much bargaining, we get the rate of 600 baht (S$24) for half an hr. Abit ex to us but still considered affordable as compared to some other countries I have heard.

Was really a ride that can make anyone feel high after that! It was my second time playing jetski but the feeling is still as fresh as the first! Half an hour pass very fast without us really taking note of it.

Nothing else much that we did after that as banana boat needs a number of ppl to play and parasailing wasn't in sight. The beach chairs need to rent and we thought its pointless so decided to go wash up at our hotel and walk around our seemingly lively area.

We had our most wonderful and sumptuos dinner at Fuji Restaurant in the Big Festival mall somewhere across the street. Realized that we hadn't eat anything since our breakfast bcos of that stupid long bus journey. Was excited to bump into this beautiful restaurant which is the one what we saw but dint have time to eat in BKK then.

With each of us paying way less than $20, we ordered ourselves each a set meal plus a shared sushi set plus cold sake and maccha milk drink. So very worth it that I think I had a little too much that inevitably cause me some indigestion problem thereafter. oopss.

The streets were lively that day cos there was some sort of carnival or fair that was going on. Some tour promotion and food fair and performance filled up the long stretch of street which we only managed to walked part of it.

As expected, many sleezy clubs with ladies scantily dressed waiting outside to lure customers in. Transverstites are not uncommon just like in Bangkok.

There are actually more things to do and see in Pattaya like transverstite show and a magnificent garden to visit etc.

The next morning, we wrapped up our last day with a good oil massage and prepare ourselves to say goodbye to Pattaya.

Proceed to the proper bus terminal, queue up to buy ticket(~123 baht) at counter and waited for our bus back to Mochit station in Bangkok (instead of Ekkamai where we board the bus to here bcos Mochit is nearer to airport).

If you are with a few more frens, it would be a much better and comfortable idea to share a taxi straight to Bangkok airport at 800 baht.

I believe this should be the proper bus ticket and procedure to follow unlike the encounter we had in BKK.

This is it!

The bus that we are scheduled to take is at 1 pm and neva expect that all the buses are delayed and the bus that came at 1 pm was for the 1210 pm batch. Our ticket was rejected by the bus officer so we retreat back to our seats. The counter ppl are not helpful to answer our queries about which bus we should take. We could only wait in vain and look at the board signal for 13:00 to show up.

In a state of confusion, a bus came some time later at 1.30 pm and with the board signal still stating 1240, we thought it wasnt our bus. I notice the Black who queued up before us during the purchase of ticket looking blur as well. Yappy then went to ask another staff with our ticket and she nodded that is the bus for us.

In a hurry, we quickly showed our ticket and it was accepted and we board the bus with our luggage deposted in the lower cabin and were wondering whether the Black know that this bus is what he should be taking as well. Yappy then decided to go down the bus to find the Black who was sitting comfortably in the waiting area. I saw from afar that the Black wasn't convinced that the bus yappy pointed is ours since the board still stating 1240. He asked Yappy to show it to him that he can get up the bus successfully. So yappy boarded the bus for him to see. The Black then hurriedly came along and board it too and thank him gratefully with his Black American slang. Haha...

So now you know the bus system there can't really be trusted... cant imagine if we miss this bus then our bus ticket will be wasted as there is specific seat number one. And we still have a flight to take from bangkok later!

The bus journey from Pattaya bus terminal to Mochit station without any stops was around 2 and a half hours. Decent. This is what it should be manz.

Yes we know its coming to an end but I don't find how time flies so swiftly mayb cos I was treasuring every moment of it. Not sure abt him but nevertheless, still feeling abit hard to part from this vacation trip.

Byebye Bangkok....

A finale photo taken at the airport. Nice.

PS: Hope you guys enjoyed reading our 'itinerary' as much as I was writing about it!

Bangkok last day...

2006-06-24T14:20:00.000+08:00

Our last day in Bangkok before we set off to Pattaya:

Yappy finds it disgusting to shop all day in Bangkok, thus our itinerary consists of some outdoor activities too which includes today.

We went to the somehow less talked about 'tourist' attraction more recommended for family who are bringing kids. Siam Park City (instead of Dreamworld)! Its only $8 admission fee for unlimited rides to the land and water park. CHeap cheaapp....

Our naive minds assume that siam park city is in siam area but it wasnt! The receptionist at our hotel told us that its quite far and out of the way and you need around 1 hr taxi drive to reach there from where we are now. Abit shaken, we took some time to discuss whether we should proceed to our original plan. And yes we are!

And we are glad that we did!

I am holding on to a thai phrase book borrowed from library which has proven itself to be useful in our bargaining and queries with a taxi driver who does not speak any Eng. But dun worrie, most of the time simple english and sign language can just survive you tru your shopping.

The pics above may misleadingly give you the impression that the Siam Park City is somewhat grand and big but actually the whole amusement park is pretty small with only a few rides but enough to leave us feeling satisfied and energy drained out at the end of the trip.

The worst ride of all! We call it the topsy turvy ride that should be condemned by all sane ppl on Earth !

This ride is disgusting leh! For the seemingly long ride, you and your partner will be tossing and rolling together with the round containers that you are in at 360 degrees, with just a tight belt strap across your waist. Imagine that!

Both of us felt like vomiting right at each other's face after that... no joke.

Our tired looks after all the land rides. Can't wait to move on to the water park for a splashing good time...

The water park is like a mini fantasy island(though I have not been to). My sort of first time playing all these since I have not been to wild wild wet or the swimming complex in Jurong centre. It was great fun sliding down the long tunnels and Big Splash slides! My upper swimming suit nearly go out of place....Phew!

Not many pictures taken in the water park since all things are kept in locker you see. Typical stuff like the wave pool, jacuzzi, big splash and tunnel slides.

Compared to WWW in downtown east Singapore where I've been to recently, I very much appreciate the less disciplined system here in Siam Park City. Don't need to queue up to play the slides or being restricted to one person at a time. Anytime, anyone can just go along with frens at whatever positions you want and whoosh down the tunnel slides. Never mind about the body collisions that sometime occur at mid-way down the slides. It's all in the name of fun!

We continued our shopping in MBK to finish our shopping from previous day. Btw MBK is nearest to National Stadium skytrain station though still walkable from Siam station. Infact, we think all the skytrain stations are pretty near to each other! An alternative is just to take tuk tuk from one station to the next, stop you straight at the door which may be more worthwhile & convenient for you.

Yappy looks kinda Thai with his dark skin and Singha top.

This is a modest collection of what we have bought from this trip since we are on budget and under limited luggage space and time to shop proper.

Saw those 3 pairs of shoes that I've bought in total? 2 heels and a sandal.

We were like hungry ghosts when we reached the shopping centre and we can't help spending time to reward our stomach in between our shopping time.

Most of the food courts In BKK make use of coupons or top-up card for the purchase of food. Get it at the counter then go buy your food. Refund of your leftover value is mostly possible.

Thai fried kway teow-Pad Thai is addictively nice. Sour and sweet. Available also at the big S-11 in amk central, next to Jubilee, which taste equally good I thought.

Superlicious dessert ice cream at swensens!

Yappy was whining for Xiao Long Bao for the whole nite. We then managed to find a chinese restaurant that sell. Poor me has to oblige to eat with him! How sacrificing is that....!! ;p
(yum yum..hee)

Yappy's method of saving time by cooling the noodles while tasting the soup simultaneously.

Here comes the Xiao Long Bao and the pancake... which becomes a difficult decision-making time for Yappy to choose between this or the other.

Stuff them both in your mouth lor!

My first rose from Yappy whom he bought from a small ger in the streets along our way back to hotel that night. Haaahee..

"The following day will be to Pattaya Beach...will it be a smooth-sailing ride?", we wondered in our dreams....

2nd day and so on...

2006-06-21T01:05:00.000+08:00

From the comments in the last post, it seems like some of you are kinda interested in the hostel that we stayed in. For more information, it would be helpful for you to visit their homepage at www.suk11.com. Kinda detailed there in their info on how to make reservation and how to get there. Other informal advice I may be able to give.

Other hotels mentioned we booked it online from asiarooms.com which provides good and convenient information and procedures, competitive rates and travellers' reviews too.

Next morning after despositing our bag at the hostel when we check out, we proceed to Chatuchuck weekend market at Mo Chit station which is a must to go in Bangkok bcos of the massive number of shops which sell from clothes to small animals! Yes! See it for urself!

And guess what? I bump into Yiying there!! Yes, amkians or maybe some NYJCians u will know who I referring to! I have not seen her for a few years and here I bump into her in Bangkok! What a very good coincidence! Forgot to take pic with her. Still as pretty and fair as before. She was with her kinda cool looking bf.

Proceed to Samran Place hotel at Rachathewi station for our second accomodation. Luckily it seems quite a decent place with many Asians. Phew... no sleezy stuff. We took quite some time to locate it by asking around as the map found on internet was not v accurate.

If you dun mind coming across one or two mini cockroaches in the room plus the creaky hard-to-push sliding toilet door and only a few standard choices to choose from for breakfast, this is an ok stay at S$35 per night.

Stuck between the creaky sliding door!

Continue our shopping at Siam station at Siam discovery centre, Siam square and Maaboonkrong (MBK). These shopping centres are kinda near to each other. MBK is a must to go for affordable shopping and the many shops and restaurants to visit. Others are more for high end branded shopping.

Guess who I saw this time? My Sister at one of the floors in Siam Centre!!
I excitedly took a picture with her!

Yet another.

Yup, this was one of her modelling assignments she took in Bangkok some time this year. A pose she made in the air by jumping from a springy board. Quite cool I thought.

Was reali happy to unexpectedly see the wall advertisement of my sis, thanks to yappy's alert. Lucky!

Went to watch X men at EGV cinema in Siam Centre at around $5 and ate our dinner here. Be prepared to stand up and sing national anthemn before the start of every show in the cinema! Its really not fire drill, yappy....haha

Yappy trying to act like King Kong.

Me the constipated female lead.

Our late dinner to end the day with.

Yappy likes to act cute. But must admit reali quite cute lor.

( Latest updates: Germany win 3-0 over Ecuador. And I won my first football bet unexpectedly on total 3 goals! The uncles in Mac were telling us that it's impossible that we win lar cos it probably etiher 1 goal or none since they both entering qualifying round no matter what liao. We crossed our fingers and YIPPEE!! Games are just that unpredictable isnt it. Going down to watch the 3am match later, betting on England win of cos. Can luck be on my side again? I wanna win some money leh.)

Warning: somewat long post.

2006-06-18T05:41:00.000+08:00

Blogging is a good way for me to retain and refresh my memory of this trip b4 it gets faded away with age. And yea I agree with you Roy who mentioned that own researched trips make it more memorable than usual ones.

For those who are interested to read or know more about our budget yet fun-filled backpacking 'honeymoon' trip in Bangkok, here it goes:

Ready to go at Changi Airport:

Yappy was feeling high and excited about our overnite stay in Don Muang airport later which i wonder what can be so exciting abt that but still smiles wide together with him. ;p

We look like chipmunk.

Our first overnight hotel at Bangkok Airport. Free of charge! hahz

We changed our sleeping positions a few times before we ended up whole body flat on the seats! Quite ugly for a ger to do that so I only slept that way for short periods.

Yeah since roy wanna me talk more about my overnite stay, well I would say that Don Muang airport is really run down, no proper seats for us to have a good nite rest at all after much exploration of the floors. So we could only end up sleeping here with many other travellers with our cap, bag and clothes as cushion lor. I am not one who sleep well easily so was quite tired after that.

After managed to "sleep" tru 5 hrs at 6am, we proceed to take airport bus to our hostel near Nana station at 100 baht each.

This is Suk 11 hostel, as advertised in newspaper which was shown to me by my mum. Thanks to her!

It was a friendly and easygoing environment with many asian and caucasian backpackers like us. Luckily the friendly owners allowed us to check in way early before our check in time at 8 am (rather than 12pm), so i sleep in for a few hours before setting off at noon.One night ard S$30 you can have a private air con room with toilet but no TV but got shared living room with TV. Near to skytrain station and other convenient stores and pubs. Highly recommended.

The so called lobby once you step in to check in and also the place to have your 'buffet' breakfast that is provided! Just simple food like muffins, breads and crossoint and fruits etc...

The dark, narrow and mysterious corridor walkway to our room. Decorated heavily with tribal furnitures.

Bangkok easy to travel:

Sky train (~ 25 baht, S$1 = 23.96 baht FYI):

3-wheeled Tuk tuk for short distances(10 to 30 baht):

Yappy's new career ambition after his graduation.

Metered taxi (starts from 35 baht):

Notice that the taxis are colourful!

First stop is to visit the Erawan Shrine at Chitlom station to give our prayers for a safe and smooth trip since we dint buy travel insurance. And also a vist to the Great Buddha temple as persuaded by a passerby who told us its a special day in respect for the King, as seen by many ppl wearing yellow tee on the streets that day.

Pratunum area is good shopping place with streets that resemble Bugis. Alot of things to see and buy. But somehow too many shops until we see blur and tired. So much in need of a foot massage.

This is Baiyoke sky tower (hotel). May be a good landmark for noting your location in Pratunum.

Some of the sleezy bars in the so called red light district in Patpong at night. Many what Pingpong shows or shower shows offered to us by aggressive 'salesman' along the street but bcos only 2 of us, I dun really dare to go in and watch. Next time larh when go in bigger group, I want to watch also. Dun be sad ok, yappy, got chance one!

After a day of walking, we went for foot massage at around 200 baht ($8) for 1 full hr! Massage is abundant in Thailand! Must try!

We have gone for foot, trad thai and oil massage in our stay there. Tried b4 the thai massage in chiang mai so I enjoyed the oil massage best though it was kinda an outrage of modesty for both Yappy and myself! hee... anyhow touch our body here and there.... eeek....

What a stretch for both of us after a long day of walking!

Last night in Suk 11, took some cocktail drinks at the pub just downstairs our hostel. One thing about natural envt is the mosquitoes! Must wear long pants if u have blood tastier than honey.

Yappy had Cherry Blossom. I have Blue Summer Kisses which is white rum mixed with some lime juices and others.

Yappy looks nice in this....which is very seldom.

To be continued soon on the next few posts.....more pictures to show!

As much as I treasure every moment of the trip, it has to be over and here I am back in Singapore facing the reality of finding jobs once again...

But I believe its only the End of the Beginning....

Thanks yappy for the absolute fantastic company despite our childish arguments here and there bcos of this and that, you know wat.

Muacks to u!

Sar wat dee....!

2006-06-04T18:26:00.000+08:00

Kinda excited about my 5 days Bangkok trip coming soon this thurs nite that we are leaving on!
Opps...yes I am going travelling again yet after my Korean trip just a few weeks ago. Well give me a break before I start furious on my job hunting yar? It definitely does send me some cold warnings when I see each and everyone of you here diligently finding job or busy working alr. Well I am at the same time searching for jobs too what just no lobangs and if just so unluckily, they have called me during my overseas trips, then all I could say is.....just too bad larhz!

Anyway back to my topic, yappy and i are spending overnight at the airport to save hotel cost! Oh well, hope we can find some proper places to at least rest manz...blame it on our stingyness!

This trip is different in that this is my first proper backpacking trip with Yappy that is planned right from scratch without the help of tour package or watsoever (unlike Roy, a fren, whom I think he has been so used to doing that for most of his travel). From flight to hotel and calculated expenses on transport, food and the places that we intended to visit based on much research done on net and books, we hope to spend within our budget around $500+ for everything. Read and learnt so much info on the net since I am so free u see ( waiting for some ppl to ask me go gym or swimming lor but dun have leh guess they found jobs alr...;p) and was telling yappy after all the research, I feel as if I know Bangkok inside out now...can be tour guide alr! hahaa. Exaggeration of cos. Will prob share some of the useful websites that I've found with U guys when I am back. Excited to see what will and will not fall into our expectations. We Shall See! cos just heard from a tour agent that we talked to that the "cheapskate" hotel that we have booked ourselves online could be a motel with many blacks and africans! and yappy was trying to make it sound worse by cautioning abt the Blacks' semen stains on the bedsheet that I should be lookin out for! Tat certainly is so comforting to hear from my dearest...

We are also planning to take a 2 hrs bus trip to Pattaya beach for a day and night. Hope no unnecessary frills in between or so. hhmm...

As usual, learnt some useful thai phrases and words just incase sign language just cant make it. The trip to Chiang Mai last year certainly helps in my recall of some thai words picked up then. Anyway hope the ppl there will khao jai (understand) what we say as our tone might just twist the meaning of the words.... hha

Was also telling yappy that actually I rather this trip will not come any sooner so that it will never be over. Things always happen so fast and over before you know it, u noe wat i mean? Just like I often enjoy more the feeling of waiting food to be served when hungry than the feeling of fullness thereafter. And like my mum and relatives who say that our trip to Korea seem like a dream now that we are back in Sg again. My sis who went for a one mth New Zealand trip come back mentioning that actually she cant really rem much of her trip......
Well I dunno whether I make sense over here...but you might know what I mean...

For the time being, shall put a couple more pics taken from Korea for u guys to see some of the stuff there and to kill ur boredom since it was only a few that I have put up previously cos was lazy. Must win Iris who is always putting so many pics in her blog lor... hahaa :p
BtwI think Korea is def worth another visit during the Autumn and Winter. Now is spring which is the season that I went to, less spectacular scenery bah.

some shopping places like ming dong and dong da men:

Look at the sssooo many shoes displayed!

Amusement centres like Everland and Lotte world...fun:

This pic is to show you my long legs, for your info:

Oh well...I mean... see the ferry ride behind? They are for skaters to move up to the top of the slope for ice skating during winter time!

A teddy bear museum:

This pic is to show you my small eyes that hardly opens under hot sun:

(a toilet in a park- jie you suo haha.)

Zha jiang mian in a foodcourt....look like lor mee rite...but taste sweet the sauce.

At the strike of 12am!

2006-06-03T00:00:00.000+08:00

But how could I? Ive forgotten to get you a bdae present! Oh my god!
Could a virtual birthday kiss suffice?
I certainly hope it does!

Here it goes!

hahaheee....

Happy birthday to you, yappy dearie!!!

And congratulations to me! To be able to receive the gift of you!

Pictures speaks better than words...

2006-05-24T01:26:00.000+08:00

Jus some of the highlights in my Korea trip:

My first time to a very big spa centre near one of my hotels. Once I get into the changing room, I saw so many naked females walking around! Don't envy me, boys. Well I guess it's their culture there. They don't bother to get into changing rooms to change and wash. I heard that its the same in the male's room. What an eyeopener! Woohoo....! Anyway it was very fun in the spa centre cos many different spa areas, hot or cold, even got long tunnel slides in it! No picture to show for this, only brochure with me.

I must really show off one of the many hotels I get to stay in. It's quite a high tech hotel room. Guess whats available in the room? Here it goes: Wide screen LCD TV, LCD computer with internet, four-speakers stereo system, DVD player, UV ray sterilizer, air cleaner machine, toilet bowl with wash and dry facilities, shower room with sauna capabilities, drinks and snacks coin machine, hot and cold water dispenser!! Unbelievable rite! Below are some pics for me not telling lies!

The rectangular thing beside the PC screen is not the system unit but the air cleaner machine!

Yeah...after using, u can press buttons to wash your buttocks and dry them too!

In every restaurant that we eat in, always got one big water bottle provided on the table for us to refill our metal cups on our own. Also water dispenser for us to refill own water bottle too. Chopsticks are metal type, very thin and hard to use. We have steamboat or BBQ for every meal except breakfast plus few korean dishes, eat until scared! Different food base in every steamboat though like seafood, mushroom, tofu, dumpling, pork etc. See the typical meal we had below. Ppl who have been to Korea shld be familiar.

We mainly visted places of interest where the filming for Korean shows are taken place. Like Winter Sonata, Da chanjin etc... Below are Niami Island and a coffe house shooting places for Winter Sonata.

Haha...look like I am pinning for the male lead.

Look kinda real rite? hehe...

I tell u, their umbrellas over there are cute! I bought this. Now I wish Sg rains everyday so that I can use this umbrella out in the rain.

Don't laugh....hahaa

Annyeong-haseyo!

2006-05-15T00:42:00.000+08:00

To any who might be interested...
Found a useful website of videos teaching korea in English.

Can try clicking on Video 1 to learn how to say hello and introduce yourself.

http://wiki.galbijim.com/List_of_Korean_lesson_videos_on_Youtube.com
(copy and paste the URL urself)

Yeah! Going to Korea for holiday le with no expectations or whatsoever, just very beautiful and romantic scenery in mind only! Great weather to be anticipated as well! just too bad someone not going along in the end.

Anyway pls don't envy me! (for those who have not been ;P)

"Unanswered questions"

2006-04-24T13:36:00.000+08:00

When you gain something, u are bound to lose some thing...
When you take, you are expected to give...
What comes around goes around...

There are more than 101 things in life that everyone hopes to have and hopes to do. Yet there is only so much time and resources we can have. We choose this, we lose that.
The best of two worlds.....does it exist? Or do we always have to make a choice between the two?

I want to be comfortable in my own skin, not say what I should and do what is expected. Is it then a sin when I say or do something that I shouldnt? Be yourself or be what ppl would like you to be and do what is deemed socially desirable by others?

In search of a person who can embrace me wholeheartedly for now and lifelong, despite all my imperfections and flaws. Does such a person exist? Seem to have found but may just be too early to judge...

When others have a biased impression of you, should we clear things up or let it be?

Can I be greedy and not make a choice?
Can I be who I am and happy about being who I am and what I have?

Reading week

2006-04-17T10:44:00.000+08:00

Expected to read something new but found nothing again?

Yeah...my apology for now. No inspiration or motivation to write when the recent preoccupation is to strategize the way I should prepare for all my exams which will happen all within a week. So fast so furious, I don't like it man. But its my last sem, so just do it.

(karina, will reply your email when I'm free or maybe after exams yar. Rest assured I got read )

What lies in the future...nobody knows.

2006-04-02T01:37:00.000+08:00

The popular or rather boring qn nowadays is 'u studying honours?', 'find job alreadi?', 'what job u going into' etc. Well I can't blame relatives or frens for asking that lar since its the time to ask isn't it?

I hope to work in the govt sector due to the prestige, training, benefits and five day work week. I hope to work in the social service that is related to my course of study. As such, I am looking out for jobs that are within such criteria. Have been applying for positions like trainer/therapist, social worker and management-level positions like HASE or analysis officer. If all fails, time to seek out for oppts in other fields...

For the first few years, my objective is to just gain as much experience and learning oppt. God knows where I will land up in the end. Ppl always say that you could just end up doing something that you neva imagine yourself to do so keep your options open. Just like my sis, she end up working in ERA in addition to her modelling assignments and enjoyin life at the same time. She has just came back from her long New Zealand trekking trip.

I anticipate my proper working life in the future to be well balanced with after-work activities like new courses to upgrade myself or learning a new hobby like latin dance or samba or signing up for a fitness club membership By then, I should be economically independent to support such leisure activities on my own without asking money from my parents. Subsequently, I hope to make some financial investments that can make my money work on its own. Though I still very much clueless in this aspect, I hope to pick it up along the way with the help of frens and my mother who is getting herself prepared to be my financial advisor based on her accumulated experience in such. We'll see...

After which, I shall consider whether there is a need to go for overseas study or to just stay in Singapore. That will be a later stage when hopefully I should have a better idea of where I am heading or just staying put as it is... as who knows I may just get married early and need only to worry about how to win majong and where to go for high tea! hahaa

I seem to be making some new year resolutions here....well...these are basically what is in my mind right now. Still, I am willing to welcome possibilities that may not be within my expectations. What will be, will be... Fingers crossed.

I am here....you know?

2006-03-19T02:46:00.000+08:00

I saw her again...in Bishan park this time round while I was cycling. We again went pass each other just like that. I stopped my bike and turned to look at her back jogging away from my sight. Such a familiar yet distant figure....

We never fail to bump into each other once in awhile, here and there, anywhere, at coffeeshop, in Shop N Save or at bus stop. If not, I would bump into her brother instead. I know she does not want to acknowledge me even if she has seen me. I didn't want to call her too if not wanting me to see her is her intention. Despite her purposeful ignorance towards me on the streets, when the day of the year came, I know I will never fail to see her name appear in my msg inbox on my bdae.

Everytime I see her, I really feel the urge to let her know this:

Any time when you feel like reuniting back with me, I am here and I promise that I will NOT ask you bothersome questions regarding your disappearance, your sudden weight gain and loss or anything that you don't feel like talking about, despite me having alot of questions on my mind about you. Your brother is not the only person whom you have with you. Somewhere out there, a very old friend is still here waiting for your re-acceptance any time when you are ready to open your door to me...

Something must be wrong....if not she will not 'ballooned' just like that...

Psychology at work

2006-03-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

What you see in others is often what you mind about yourself. ( or what you take pride in yourself)

I can't agree more.

Just like how I always like to observe ppl's tummy bcos I dismay at how mine can never be as flat as I want! hahz

No...you are not gonna read a list of what I observe about others to get a clue of what I mind about myself cos this is gonna make you focus more on the areas that you think you know what I am sensitive towards about myself! (forgive me, I'm a psychology major...)

But disclosure breeds liking....the more I tell you about me, the more you will like me .... hmm...let me consider whether to let you like me more or not...

Alright I can allow you to know this:

I like to observe ppl's handwriting. Whether its the person sitting next to me in lecture, my teacher's handwriting, my project mate etc....

You should have guessed what I mean by now if you can apply what you have learnt from my above illustration.

Yes, bingo. I don't like my handwriting to a point that I sometimes look at my notebook and the only thing that immediately pops up is the word ----'disgusting'----
I used to blame it on lousy pens but I realize its time I face up to reality and stop using the poor pen as the scapegoat....

I am totally amazed by ppl who can write superly neat even when taking fast notes. It's incredible to me. Yes it's incredible!!!! FAST AND NICE HANDWRITING, you hear that!! For crying out loud, how do they possibly do that???!!!!

For that, I never have the confidence to take up the appointment of a note taker in any meeting.

For that, I feel reluctant to lend ppl my lecture notes or any other notes cos it can be near to incomprehensible and I am kinda embarrassed abt it! I have even resorted to rubbing away and rewriting it before lending it to the person the next day! It was so troublesome that I no longer do that larh...

Sometimes I even have the little paranoia that the person sitting beside me in tutorial must be disgusted by what I am writing to the point that she must be feeling the urge to puke!

Infact, I can write nicely if I want. BUT this will be at the expense of my speed. But here I am talking about ppl who can write fast and nice, yes....many girls can do it but why can't I??? I sometimes observe how a girl 1 meter away from me in the lecture hall can keep writing so neatly and steadily and for a moment, I wonder if she a goddess from heaven.

I believe there is a correlation between a person's handwriting and his/her general tidyness. So I bet you are alreadi seeing how 'tidy' a person I am....

Ok well....for those whom you know you have all nice and wonderful handwriting to be proud of ....yeah you bet I am admiring you secretly.... though I do have specific liking for slim and stylish handwriting...

*Pls don't get nervous when you are writing infront of me the next time.
You either will expect me to like you for your wonderful handwriting or still like you for your ugly handwriting cos similarity also breeds liking...yeah !

[[[[[ sometimes i wonder the fact that you are studying psychology but you never seem to apply what you have learnt to understand what I am thinking!!]]]]]

((((( bcos I am using my heart to understand you!......! maybe it is not pumping hard enough........))))))

Sometimes...

2006-02-24T01:36:00.000+08:00

I wish you are a pet.

So that anytime anywhere, I can take you out of your cage to play with.
I can cuddle you up in my arms easily and stroke your fur while watching TV.

Then you don't have to go to school or go to work. All you do is to wait for me at home everyday for my love and care. Fed by me when you are hungry and go for a jog with me in the park and play.

You will have no other worries or budens except to miss me until I am back with you at home again.

Sometimes...

You look like a puppy, with your innocent pair of small eyes, looking at me longingly. Always so obedient and attentive, you make the perfect pet for me.

You look like a snail, with your sluggish way of getting up from your dreams. Always so lazy and slow, like you never will have enough of sleep.

You look like a sheep, with your docile and harmless personality. Always so much warmth you can give, I never will be caught freezing.

You look like a bear, with your huggable body size and inflated tummy. Always so ready to embrace me whenever I need.

You look like a monkey, with your masculine jaw and super tan skin. Always so mischievous and energetic, there's like always something up in your sleeve.

Never did I know that I am such an "animal lover" until the day you appear... :)

So what are you ?

2006-02-13T01:02:00.000+08:00

A friend told me that she is a cheerful realist. Meaning that she looks at the bright side of life but still being realistic about the outcomes of certain things. She asks me what I am. I never thought abt it so wasn't able to answer straight away.

Now that I thought of it, I guess for now I would name myself as a hopeful pessimist. Generally, I would expect the bad outcomes, probably not the worst but just the not so favourable outcomes. Yet I bear a hopeful mindset in having the tables turn around eventually. You may then expect that I would be extremely jubilant when good outcomes turn out to be the case since I already expect it to be worse. Yet, it is often still not the case. More often, I feel lucky and blissed than to feel really happy cos I would expect such happy outcomes to be rare and thus should not be overly happy abt it. In another words, I think I am trying to keep a humble and grateful attitude towards every good thing that comes to me so that I will not experience abrupt sadness/disappointment when the next outcome is a bad one. Sort of a buffering mechanism perhaps. But will that make me less than happier instead?

I hope to be an optimistic dreamer. To be able to dream wildlessly and believing that they will one day eventually come true surely makes one's living a passionately vibrant one. (For that, I don't mean wet dreams, just incase you thought.... ) Don't care abt whether those dreams are unrealistic or not as that don't really matter. It's the motivation to dream that keeps one going and striving...

Family Time...

2006-01-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

Ever since the last movie outing to watch Titanic together many years back, my family of 4 managed to find time today to watch a movie together. It was my mum's strong recommendation of a Li Lian Jie's supposedly last movie that he will act in. It's called Huo Yuan Jia. With no expectations of any sort, I leave the movie theatre with much satisfaction and inspiration. I find it a meaningful show which teaches and educates the essence of mercy and kindness, the real purpose and beauty of chinese martial arts. I also wish I had been more interested in the rich ancient history of the Chinese in my past years of education as that certainly would help me to appreciate this movie even more.

My sister used to nonsensically say that if she has a child she wanna raise him till 10 yrs old and kill him after that cos children are only cute when they are young. Once they grow up, have their own set of thinking and no longer want to listen to you, they becum devillish and no longer cute in personality or looks. Today at reunion dinner, I saw how my teenage cousin speaks and argue in defence of her religion against her father and other relative who are very much against it. She is really an angry young lady who can be seen prepared to talk back at anyone who attempt to want to talk sense into her. Partly because of this, she has not been talking to her father for the past 3 yrs or so and both have been seen to be at loggerheads till now. I was browsing some photo albums and saw the photographs of my cousin back then when she was still young and little. And the many happy photos of her taken with her father (which is my uncle). I can't help but feel sorry for my uncle. I don't think he will feel good looking at those photographs when the reality now isn't predictive of the past. My mother always cautions that once the parent does not show the effort in wanting to pull back the child by his side, he might suffer the risk of losing her forever, emotionally and physically.

I can attest for her belief in saying that as I can recall how my parents have been re-accepting my sister after each and every upheaval that has no doubt placed alot of emotional stress on them. Despite all the previous episodes of discontent, my parents have showed tolerance and magnanimity towards some of her previous rebellious actions and decisions. For some of you who may not have all nice and good parents to speak of, I probably can make use of what Huo Yuan Jia said in the movie, that is, life may be unfair for he cannot choose how he starts off with his life, but he certainly has the power in how he wants to live and end it. We can't choose our parents that is no doubt. If yours aren't the ideal one that you would like to have, rem that they are not born to know how to be good parents as well. Perhaps they are still learning how to be one, through mistakes and experiences, though at the expense of your happiness. Give them the forgiveness that they deserve as afterall they are the ones who brought you into this world of heaven and most probably in times of dire needs, they will be the ones whom I forsee will not discard you for watsoever reason. If that is not possible, why not just forget the hatred altogether and lead a life better than what it should have been in the first place? At least you will be doing justice for yourself and having compensated for the unfairness in not getting to choose your own parents at the very start.

Anyway Happy Lunar New Year to all! It's the time for the hardly meet family members to get together again despite how dreadful it can get also! But for the sake of the angpaos...why dread? hehaz.....

Having penis envy.............................??

2006-01-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

Being a female,

1. you suffer higher risk of additional complicated disorders due to your gender-specific organs and hormones.

- certain health insurance premiums cost much higher for females than for males bcos of their higher risks!
- this is also in the perspective of Chinese physicians.

2. you bear the pains and discomfort and inconvenience of your menses that come every month without fail.

- call it lucky if there is a miss of its occurence in some months but to general practitioners, it is considered irregularity and should be taken note of.]
- even heard from a certain religion that this is actually a punishment or some sort of a curse that is cast on females....Ridiculous!

3. you bear high parental investment of child making, not forgetting post-natal syndromes and the amount of time to breastfeed your baby and the long wait to hopefully recover back your original figure, only if you are lucky that is.

[not everyone can be like wong lilin or zoe tay, mind you.]

4. being objectified as symbols of sex, you bear the life-long threat of being sexually assaulted by lusty young/old male strangers anywhere possible, regardless of your age, may be when you go out alone at nite, solo backpacking etc. And don't forget, if you are unlucky,...(see point 3). And how convenient/unfair can it be, for the sperm donors walk free.

- i've heard it's very much harder for females to rape males if you know wat I mean? thats y since evolution, females are mostly victims rather than perpetrators.
- domestic helpers also are potential victims if met with beastly employers
- bet you read about molestation cases in crowded areas in festive seasons by both local and foreign male workers
- no wonder my mother say the only solution is to have all guilty males sterilized/castrated!
- see that emperors in the ancient dynasty already saw this sexual threat of males, if not y keepers are made eunuchs!

5.young girls in some countries are prone to child prostitution and suffer the eventual risk of getting Aids and die.

-look at the abundance of Singaporean uncles flocking to Batam for cheap sex and thrill.

6. women age faster on physical appearance and face greater pressure for the need to maintain their looks, skin, hair and figure in the society and media. Expenses self-absorbed.

----------------------------------------------
An irony
As females strive to gain equal status, respect and power as males in the society, they are actually holding additional baggages to their already loaded chores. This is evident from realistic examples of the difficulty faced by many women who have to work and cook and wash and do household chores and childcare when they finally get home to supposedly 'rest'. Though husbands now help out more nowadays, women generally are still seen and expected to be the gender more suited for housemaking despite them having to face additional responsibilities of having a career just like the men as well. Isnt this double-standard thinking?

Call me biased towards my own gender, wateva... of cos I am more inclined to write on mine!

Probably you will say that in general females already gain alot from the social privileges of getting 'ladies first' and being walked home and protected by their guyfriends and stuff.
Yah right....if not for the extra liabilities faced by females as stated above!

Don't tell me abt army training that guys need to undergo and girls don't have. For goodness sake guys, that is for your own overall benefit! Wats more, you get paid to be trained and lets not forget the important techinical skills and brotherhood fun you must have gained along the way. Furthermore, job applicants who have served NS for a more politically correct term to speak of, enjoy higher gross salary in various job postings. What's more is there to be said?

With the above, it is thus no surprise to me when I heard from girls that they would want to give birth to boys when they are mothers! hah.

----------------------------------------
Clarification
Penis Envy - a term generated by a psychologist to theorize that young girls have this fantasy of having a penis like the boys.

I can't agree more with Karen Horney who rebuke that girls dun envy the penis per se but rather they see it as a symbol of social status that males generally enjoy in the society at that time!!

P/S: btw pls don't get the idea that I hate myself cos of my own gender. ^-^

A desire fulfilled...

2005-12-30T16:58:00.000+08:00

Wednesday went for an introductory session on wakeboarding with Yappy. Ehh.. dun be so shocked la...a not so sporty person can also afford to go try such things one k...bleah. I have always wanted to try this seasport a very long time ago but always din't managed to fulfill in the end due to one reason or another. Though with much delay initially, I ultimately just send in the late application together with my all-time confirmed companion Yappy to the person-in-charge in NUS and there we are at Punggol marina for this extreme sport!

Think alot of us were kinda nervous at first since afterall its our first time. Only 4 participants in each boat and yappy was the first one to have the kickstart after some briefing and demostration from the experienced. I must say Yappy was a very fast learner as expected given his natural talent in any outdoor activity and even the coach agreed that he learns well. Getting up from the starting position was the hardest part and he managed to get up after a few trials and begin to get the hang of it in a pretty short while. Too bad we dint bring our camera onboard the boat to capture his suave ride...hahz. Anyway, well done, Yappy!

I was the last one to try after a pretty long wait in the boat nearing to getting sea sick...I wasn't that good as Yappy of cos. Keep losing grip of the handle probably due to my wrong techniques of the starting position which to me was already a tantamount task to simply grip hold of it. Once the boat starts to gain speed, I simply had a hard time just trying not to let go of the handle before I can even get up!! I feel like giving up already bcos my fingers and arms are feeling sore and aching from the tight grip. It was only after a few series of tries plus the coach's much harsh assertion that I managed to get up in the end and get the feel of riding for a short while. I must say the feeling of riding above the sea water is pretty much a refreshing feeling. No wonder Yappy looked so high when he was riding on for a considerably long time. For me before I can get to fully enjoy the feel, I was choking and gulping in seawater again!! Wat a failure!!

I definitely would want to brush up my technique of standing up in my next session of wakeboarding probably not so soon though. It's quite expensive just for like the maximum 20 to 30 minutes for urself at $70. But I still think its a worthwhile sport for once in a while kind of thing. Now my upper body aches like hell. Yappy even ended up crawling on the floor when he reached home that nite. haha...Motivated to train my arm muscles first before the next session. haiz..Looks like there are so many parts of my body that I have to train ah..argh. I wanna be able to ride on the water for at least half a minute!! Hmmm...possible..?

Somehow this experience makes me realize that I am actuali someone kinda prone to giving up for things in various aspects of life. Like relationship matters, learning a new sports, losing weight and studies etc...Miraculously, it actuali makes me think again about whether I should so easily give up the thought of pursuing my Honours degree...As a result, I will give it a serious thought once again before drawing a conclusion so early...though I still very much need professional advice on this in the meanwhile. Ultimately I want to make sure that if I decide not to study Honours, it is NOT bcos I feel that I cannot handle BUT is due to other more practical reasons or plans in mind...I don't want to see myself as someone who escape from problems anymore...SET.