My dad asked me this while we were strolling back home after our Sunday morning jog.
"Hui, do you think you are prettier or jie? "
"hhuuhhz..why ask me this aiyoh?" I replied with my usual ridiculous tone.
So silly, so superficial. Not that simple qn I suspect.
Ultimately his concern was actuali to find out whether I do feel any form of jealousy twds my sis's modelling achievements. (not again..) Cos when he was young, he felt that twds his own siblings' good grades so he assumes I do feel some negative feelings. Wrong assumption then! If theres any, it would be admiration of her courage to try out what she can rather than to harbour any form of morbid jealousy.
To each his own. I have my healthy level of self-esteem and dignity as a human being. Why would I ever let such superficial comparisons affect me? It doesn't bother me at all, I can even joke abt it.
This led me to the current topic of today's post:
Issit human nature to like to compare themselves with others? Do we use others as a means to see where we stand? Does that explain why ranking is so commonly used in school and at work?
Can I then say that unhappiness with one self usually originates from comparison with others?
Highly true. Just compare city life and rural life. Tense competition and coporate ladders to climb vs simple pleasures and limited knowledge of the outside world.
The more you know abt others, the more upset and dissatisfied you probably turn out to be.
The simple fact: You compare, you den get despair. You realize what you don't have...and start working to be like others, or even beta.
The simple rationale behind this mentality: You want to live good for yourself and others to see.
The bottomline: There is no end to comparison. You can compare by all you want since it's human nature. What's important is to follow your own priorities in life and live what you deem good enough for what life means to you, personally. If that can be achieved, you reali don't have to care abt how the rest of the world is doing, as long as you are happy with your own life.
The caution: Cannot be too easily contented also.
The catch: Life is always in a dilemma. Be very confused. It's part of the package.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
"Randomization"
Realized that I have not been blogging for quite some time. Don't have a specific issue in mind to talk about so will be blabbering away randomly just to keep this blog updated at least. May be abit boring to read for those not involved...
Now is already mid june. so fast. Have been quite happy so far in this holidays maybe cos have been busy with different upcoming things along the way so no time for any sort of depressive episode to occur anytime. When your mind is preoccupied, you have less time to find small little things to get sad over.
The most recent event is my very good frens' joint bdae celebration. That is yapjin-cum-jingya bdae party which was entirely planned and prepared by a few of us. I think the process of it is quite fun and exciting as we brainstormed wat games to play and anticipate what will happen and stuff. It gives us reasons to meet often to discuss abt it. Most of their frens are quite sporting and cooperative with our silly games and forfeits and together with the bdae girl and boy with their gemini personality, it ultimately makes the party a successful one! Nice ppl, nice outcomes! The swimming pool resided in the condo really make it a convenient spot for pranks or sabo to occur any time. I will not forget jingya's condo pool for sure cos I got thrown into it on 2 different fateful occassions- one time on my bdae and the most recent on their bdaes! So scary and shocking when 2 pairs of hands suddenly come grabbed me from behind like that. Traumatic 'rape' experience. [btw theres something called the Rape myth: 'Girls enjoy being raped?' its obviously not true FYI!! ] Hey, I can afford to struggle even more one ok, I am just giving in to your in the end only! so dun play play!
Very glad to see most of our JC frens. It's reali rare chance to see them again unless we purposefully organize regular outings which is quite unlikely. Nice of them to turn up and stay for quite long during the party!
Let me mention this though it shld be private, I had my very first passionate kiss with the most unexpected gender after the party, all in the name of fun and experience only. Even had it video filmed and photographed by accompanying close frens! hahaz. Shant elaborate here in public since it shld be personal. *wink*
As I have said b4, the online friendster network is analogous in our real life. Friends get to know each other's friends and becum a bunch of good frens together. For certain outings and occassions, it's def better to have a bunch of common mutual frens. Can do more things together. On the other hand, it's always a pleasure to get to see who those ppl reali are after hearing so much from your fren. Eg ZH, Ken and Alex whom Yokie always mention to us. Its the feeling of 'so des neh' (in jap) when meeting those ppl in person after hearing so much abt them. And it's reali a good thing that YJ can click so well with us and now we can always call him along for any of our gatherings and outings. Told you its friendster in real life! It's amazing.
I also realized that the presence of a convenient mode of transport can make more things possible. That is to say, havinig a car around among frens make late nites possible and previously inacessible places more possible to visit. All these while reali must thanks to yokie's and karina's cars that have made so much convenience to the rest of us. hehz
Hope Karina can make it to Yokie's bdae celebration but at the same tme also hope she can get her job interview in UK. Dilemma.
Glad that Phil is back on track with us after a minor incident that happened. Time allows one to give thought to a matter and decide what should be the best course of action and attitude by means of what your heart tells you.
The coming of July also means that my thai trip is coming soon. Kinda scared of mosquitoe bites and hygiene problems. ha. obviously they are for me to overcome and not avoid larh. No choice. Got to learn to cope. At least can see that the ppl going along are kinda nice and easygoing bunch of guys and girls. That shld be more impt than anything.
Abit miss talent scouting...the job that can force out the more outgoing persona in me to reach out to ppl in the streets. The wide amazing eyes to show my interest in them. The more higher pitched tone for clearer voice. And the casual frenly talk that I can strike with some chatty ones. But whenever I recalled the agony in getting enough numbers everday and the cold shoulders I will receive from some rude ppl, I know I am not missing it for long.
Now is already mid june. so fast. Have been quite happy so far in this holidays maybe cos have been busy with different upcoming things along the way so no time for any sort of depressive episode to occur anytime. When your mind is preoccupied, you have less time to find small little things to get sad over.
The most recent event is my very good frens' joint bdae celebration. That is yapjin-cum-jingya bdae party which was entirely planned and prepared by a few of us. I think the process of it is quite fun and exciting as we brainstormed wat games to play and anticipate what will happen and stuff. It gives us reasons to meet often to discuss abt it. Most of their frens are quite sporting and cooperative with our silly games and forfeits and together with the bdae girl and boy with their gemini personality, it ultimately makes the party a successful one! Nice ppl, nice outcomes! The swimming pool resided in the condo really make it a convenient spot for pranks or sabo to occur any time. I will not forget jingya's condo pool for sure cos I got thrown into it on 2 different fateful occassions- one time on my bdae and the most recent on their bdaes! So scary and shocking when 2 pairs of hands suddenly come grabbed me from behind like that. Traumatic 'rape' experience. [btw theres something called the Rape myth: 'Girls enjoy being raped?' its obviously not true FYI!! ] Hey, I can afford to struggle even more one ok, I am just giving in to your in the end only! so dun play play!
Very glad to see most of our JC frens. It's reali rare chance to see them again unless we purposefully organize regular outings which is quite unlikely. Nice of them to turn up and stay for quite long during the party!
Let me mention this though it shld be private, I had my very first passionate kiss with the most unexpected gender after the party, all in the name of fun and experience only. Even had it video filmed and photographed by accompanying close frens! hahaz. Shant elaborate here in public since it shld be personal. *wink*
As I have said b4, the online friendster network is analogous in our real life. Friends get to know each other's friends and becum a bunch of good frens together. For certain outings and occassions, it's def better to have a bunch of common mutual frens. Can do more things together. On the other hand, it's always a pleasure to get to see who those ppl reali are after hearing so much from your fren. Eg ZH, Ken and Alex whom Yokie always mention to us. Its the feeling of 'so des neh' (in jap) when meeting those ppl in person after hearing so much abt them. And it's reali a good thing that YJ can click so well with us and now we can always call him along for any of our gatherings and outings. Told you its friendster in real life! It's amazing.
I also realized that the presence of a convenient mode of transport can make more things possible. That is to say, havinig a car around among frens make late nites possible and previously inacessible places more possible to visit. All these while reali must thanks to yokie's and karina's cars that have made so much convenience to the rest of us. hehz
Hope Karina can make it to Yokie's bdae celebration but at the same tme also hope she can get her job interview in UK. Dilemma.
Glad that Phil is back on track with us after a minor incident that happened. Time allows one to give thought to a matter and decide what should be the best course of action and attitude by means of what your heart tells you.
The coming of July also means that my thai trip is coming soon. Kinda scared of mosquitoe bites and hygiene problems. ha. obviously they are for me to overcome and not avoid larh. No choice. Got to learn to cope. At least can see that the ppl going along are kinda nice and easygoing bunch of guys and girls. That shld be more impt than anything.
Abit miss talent scouting...the job that can force out the more outgoing persona in me to reach out to ppl in the streets. The wide amazing eyes to show my interest in them. The more higher pitched tone for clearer voice. And the casual frenly talk that I can strike with some chatty ones. But whenever I recalled the agony in getting enough numbers everday and the cold shoulders I will receive from some rude ppl, I know I am not missing it for long.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Old friends vs New friends (classifying....?)
Similarity:
~Can have a chatty good time with both.
Old friends: Easy to catch up with, many new updates to exchange with one another, good old memories to bring up and rekindle.
New friends: many things to learn and discover abt the new friend, his opinions on certain things, hobbies, family background etc....just like learning a new topic of interest.
Differences:
Old friends: quantity of time known leads to the heartwarming sense of familiarity when meet. familiarity breeds liking.
New friends: mixed feelings of excitement and apprehension on first few meetings/outings.
Old friends: even when long time not meeting up, you know the frenship bond is still intact, the thought of them will still linger in your mind from time to time.
New friends: a lapse of time not meeting up may result in a 'forgetting' effect of that fren then slowly lose contact totally.
Old friends: you can say things more at ease without fearing to be judged differently, can talk abt practically anything under the sun.
New friends: you select topics to talk abt depending on the personality/interest of them.
Old friends: you are aware of the flaws they possess but have come to terms with it cos you know its what make them different from others.
New friends: they seem so nice and all, not enough time/oppt/chance to see their flaws.
Old friends: you can be more of yourself according to your mood and stuff. ( like maybe not smiling when you dun feel like it)
New friends: you have to be more polite and friendly just incase they get the wrong signal from your facial expressions. (like interpreting that u dun like talking to them when u dun smile when actuali u are just being tired)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I actualli enjoy making new frens, potential good frens that is, not just mere acquaintances. Have come across certain ppl whom I think have great potential in becoming my good frens but certain limiting factors just dun allow it to happen. No wonder ppl always say that frens who stay are those you have known back in your younger school days... cos they are the earliest batch of frens whom you first met and known and liked and have gone thru the common experiences together with you. However so. I shall refrain from having the mental stereotype that making new good frens are harder as one grows up. It depends on fate, effort and opportunity which I deem as important factors that can allow a frenship to grow.
To my 2/4 clique (stella,yiling,shiying) : I know we seldom meet up on a regular basis and may not be as close as before but I realli appreciate how we come together as a clique back in 2/4 days and now still see each other once in awhile to catch up with one another. Hope you guys dun feel that I am favouring (the so called) newer frens cos in my heart I will never forget you all.
~Can have a chatty good time with both.
Old friends: Easy to catch up with, many new updates to exchange with one another, good old memories to bring up and rekindle.
New friends: many things to learn and discover abt the new friend, his opinions on certain things, hobbies, family background etc....just like learning a new topic of interest.
Differences:
Old friends: quantity of time known leads to the heartwarming sense of familiarity when meet. familiarity breeds liking.
New friends: mixed feelings of excitement and apprehension on first few meetings/outings.
Old friends: even when long time not meeting up, you know the frenship bond is still intact, the thought of them will still linger in your mind from time to time.
New friends: a lapse of time not meeting up may result in a 'forgetting' effect of that fren then slowly lose contact totally.
Old friends: you can say things more at ease without fearing to be judged differently, can talk abt practically anything under the sun.
New friends: you select topics to talk abt depending on the personality/interest of them.
Old friends: you are aware of the flaws they possess but have come to terms with it cos you know its what make them different from others.
New friends: they seem so nice and all, not enough time/oppt/chance to see their flaws.
Old friends: you can be more of yourself according to your mood and stuff. ( like maybe not smiling when you dun feel like it)
New friends: you have to be more polite and friendly just incase they get the wrong signal from your facial expressions. (like interpreting that u dun like talking to them when u dun smile when actuali u are just being tired)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I actualli enjoy making new frens, potential good frens that is, not just mere acquaintances. Have come across certain ppl whom I think have great potential in becoming my good frens but certain limiting factors just dun allow it to happen. No wonder ppl always say that frens who stay are those you have known back in your younger school days... cos they are the earliest batch of frens whom you first met and known and liked and have gone thru the common experiences together with you. However so. I shall refrain from having the mental stereotype that making new good frens are harder as one grows up. It depends on fate, effort and opportunity which I deem as important factors that can allow a frenship to grow.
To my 2/4 clique (stella,yiling,shiying) : I know we seldom meet up on a regular basis and may not be as close as before but I realli appreciate how we come together as a clique back in 2/4 days and now still see each other once in awhile to catch up with one another. Hope you guys dun feel that I am favouring (the so called) newer frens cos in my heart I will never forget you all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)