Boring topic...but pls let me have a chance to lament over here. (since this is my blog! )
I hate...
the feeling of guilt whenever I try to procrastinate from the pile of books and readings. (recall that procrastination is my forte.)
the paranoia that those parts that I have skipped studying are what that will come out in exams.
the feeling of waking up every morning to be bombarded by the list of things needed to be studied by the end of the day. (if not, will be terribly behind schedule!!)
the butterflies in the stomach before exams.
the feeling of injustice done to myself after leaving the examination hall (the thot of: I could have done much better than that!)
(the hate list goes on....)
The source of my stress seriously stems from the hope to get a good honours but the possibility of it has made me to reconsider my plans, even more so after talking to some ppl around me facing the same predicament. So far yet so near to getting it.....should I give up the thought or continue to try pursue it? Or maybe I should just be contented with a normal Bachelor degree...then I will be less stressful since my aim isn't to be a psychologist anyway. But a good Honours always secure you more wherever you go, or so I thought.
I don't want to find excuses for myself to slack more in view of an alternative plan in mind. I hope to still hold the motivation to try as long as I am still in the process of it. If not, it will be like stopping halfway even before I reach the finishing line. That will be total injustice done to myself!
This sem results is a crucial one to let me gauge whether I should ultimately give up the hope or to try to enter the Honours year. A part of me wish that I can totally discard the hope of getting a good honours so that I won't be so stressful in my third yr. Another part of me feel that I should really push myself to strive for it since I am already in here. Conflicting thoughts! aahh... actuali I alreadi sort of made up my mind but I want to hang on for the moment first!!
lastly, tips for all having exams :
Do simple stretches of exercise, yoga or pilates in between study intervals. (even simple exercise can release endorphines which relax your mind! )
Switch on radio to lighten the studying mood. (let the music heal your soul..)
Don't binge(or eat too much) as it will only make u more sleepy after that. Eat simple.
Study more during your "peak" periods.
Don't have to study everything, actuali.
Exam is nothing but a four-letter word ! (ops..isnt that bad enuff?)
Good luck ppl, do lk fwd to the long summer hols !
[don't think will have the mood to blog for the next couple of weeks. so dun miss me. ]
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Monday, April 04, 2005
"I am more sensitive than you think I am." (yes reali, believe me)
I ever have friends who kindly told me that I can be quite a tactless person who say things which I am NOT AWARE of how others would feel.
Then one of them would defend for me by saying to the other, " She is like that one larh. Don't have to take it too hard. She meant no hard feelings for saying that one."
When I know abt this, guess how I feel??
I was actually quite happy to know that...
(of cos I din't show it to my fren when I heard that. I pretend to be awkwardly embarrassed and ashamed la. )
Why?
Cos infact all along in the past I think I have been a victim of oversensitivity that has made me easily upset and unhappy over minor issues. I don't want to be like that. It's hurting me and I don't like the feeling at all. I don't like the feeling of having to consciously think about how others will feel abt what I say, get overly anxious on what I've said or to get emotionally disturbed by what others have said and done twds me. It is suffocating and tiring, and infact, very emotionally straining. This perhaps explain why I am rather happy to know that I can actually be insensitive which means to me that I am no longer plagued by oversensitivity. (chim..but do read it again..it makes sense.)
I don't ever want to be a cancerian who is characterized by being sensitive and emotional. Luckily I am a Capricorn.(though I also dun like)
Well but yoke, I think you have done well being a cancerian, holding a rational mind while being emotional and sensitive, most of the time. Kudos!
Pls do not think that I am in any way building my happiness at the expense of others' sorrow by choosing to be less sensitive. I don't purposely say things to hurt others. There are for sure some remnants of oversensitivity left in me for which I will continue to inhibit at appropriate times to make myself more carefree and happy, esp twds wat ppl say and do to me. It is a way for me to cope with any negative feelings I should feel twds others.
In short, I am more sensitive that you think I am, really. Most of the time, I am aware of how you might feel but I really don't wish to think too much orelse I will allow myself to lead a very difficult life. Pardon me pls if ever. (oh no..pls dun think i am finding excuses for being insensitive...i am not in the first place!!! )
Mind over matters- I WANT to believe in that, a notion inspired by the late Ms Hamimah who is the most amazing lady I've come across in my course of study.
You can control how you want to feel. How true is that? Is it achievable??
[a min ago, a fren (u noe who) just sms me to make known to me something that I've done recently. sorrie lor...this one i realli not aware that u dun like. Good that u have made ur stand across to me...will not do it again. ]
Then one of them would defend for me by saying to the other, " She is like that one larh. Don't have to take it too hard. She meant no hard feelings for saying that one."
When I know abt this, guess how I feel??
I was actually quite happy to know that...
(of cos I din't show it to my fren when I heard that. I pretend to be awkwardly embarrassed and ashamed la. )
Why?
Cos infact all along in the past I think I have been a victim of oversensitivity that has made me easily upset and unhappy over minor issues. I don't want to be like that. It's hurting me and I don't like the feeling at all. I don't like the feeling of having to consciously think about how others will feel abt what I say, get overly anxious on what I've said or to get emotionally disturbed by what others have said and done twds me. It is suffocating and tiring, and infact, very emotionally straining. This perhaps explain why I am rather happy to know that I can actually be insensitive which means to me that I am no longer plagued by oversensitivity. (chim..but do read it again..it makes sense.)
I don't ever want to be a cancerian who is characterized by being sensitive and emotional. Luckily I am a Capricorn.(though I also dun like)
Well but yoke, I think you have done well being a cancerian, holding a rational mind while being emotional and sensitive, most of the time. Kudos!
Pls do not think that I am in any way building my happiness at the expense of others' sorrow by choosing to be less sensitive. I don't purposely say things to hurt others. There are for sure some remnants of oversensitivity left in me for which I will continue to inhibit at appropriate times to make myself more carefree and happy, esp twds wat ppl say and do to me. It is a way for me to cope with any negative feelings I should feel twds others.
In short, I am more sensitive that you think I am, really. Most of the time, I am aware of how you might feel but I really don't wish to think too much orelse I will allow myself to lead a very difficult life. Pardon me pls if ever. (oh no..pls dun think i am finding excuses for being insensitive...i am not in the first place!!! )
Mind over matters- I WANT to believe in that, a notion inspired by the late Ms Hamimah who is the most amazing lady I've come across in my course of study.
You can control how you want to feel. How true is that? Is it achievable??
[a min ago, a fren (u noe who) just sms me to make known to me something that I've done recently. sorrie lor...this one i realli not aware that u dun like. Good that u have made ur stand across to me...will not do it again. ]
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